I walked into this with my eyes wide open. I have no one to blame but myself. I knew this melo was going to have a death at the end so for nineteen episodes I prepared myself, but I left my guard down tonight. I was hoping for some twist, some miracle last minute cure, just anything that wouldn’t separate Joon Young from everyone he loves and from everyone who loves him. If his dog came back I would have lost it even more so thank goodness for small favors. I was on the edge of my seat wondering how will they do this? How will they let us see this character go? How will they find a way that won’t leave us reeling from shock and sadness? The answer was as simple as some of the quieter moments in this drama. The scenes where the cinematography spoke for the characters as they enjoyed the silence and beauty around them. There was nothing dramatic about Joon Young’s death. It’s what he would have wanted. It was when he was the happiest and most content. More importantly, it was when he was ready. It was also when he had some closure. At least he got to say a proper farewell to his mother. That’s the funny thing about death. The body might be gone, but the essence of the person he was remains in the hearts of everyone who loved him. I liked the way his mom described it best. She would see the every day beauty around her and know her son came back to visit with her. It was a way for her to communicate that she would never forget him. It’s a beautiful thought and the best way to remember this drama. I don’t think I will ever view cherry blossoms the same way again without feeling a bit of melancholy and hope.
When Eul told him it wasn’t his fault, you could see how her words made the years of piled up guilt crumble. It doesn’t matter if he forgets this moment – what matters is that he is finally forgiven for something he never meant to do. He never dreamed she would get hit by that car and almost die when he stole that USB. It was a desperate attempt to protect a dad he didn’t know yet. He never imagined that he would almost kill the girl he loved over a man he now despises. He never forgave himself and held that secret in his heart next to his love for her. It’s like her words finally freed him from a prison of his own making and it didn’t just relieve his guilt, it released his soul and made him feel whole again.
I bet it was quite a relief for Joon to finally reveal everything he had been withholding from Eul. He knew what the price of his truth would cost him, but he did it anyway. As if there weren’t enough reasons to admire his fortitude, he surpasses himself for finally telling off Choi in such a way that even Choi was left speechless. Evil shouldn’t win or escape punishment for its crimes so it’s going to be interesting to see how things will turn out for the sinister characters, but thank goodness we will have a little bit of reprieve for the good guys next week before everything gets resolved.
Everything is coming out in the open -not just feelings, but hidden agendas, threats, and intimidations, but more importantly revelations. Joon Young finds the courage to speak the truth and he manages to do so in a way that no one expected. I had my doubts about how Joon was handling his scheme regarding JE, but now I see his actions for what they were all along – clever and honorable. By exposing JE and her crime, Joon had no choice but to expose his own. He fell on that sword knowingly and with full knowledge that it could turn Eul away for good, but he did it cuz it was the right thing to do. In a way, Joon behaved like an honorable prosecutor the way Choi had dreamed of becoming, but never had the courage to become.
I know this feeling all too well. When you ask questions you already know answers to. You brace yourself for the truth, but it still crushes you to hear the words spoken aloud. You knew something was wrong so you came for confirmation, but hearing it only serves to shatter whatever hope you had that this wasn’t happening. Now you have nothing to hold onto. Now you are forced to accept that the person you love is going to die. People describe this moment as having the rug pulled out from under you, but it’s really the other way around. It’s the moment you want to pull some protective covering over your head to drown out all the hopelessness and overwhelming desolation. It’s the moment you feel bereft, even before the person you love dies. The way Eul kept it together to hear what the doctor said to her, it has to be her bravest moment yet. She didn’t flinch or shy away from the truth. She managed to do something even Joon Young doesn’t have the guts to do yet; she was facing the inevitable.
I trusted this writer, but now I have my doubts. She has thrown some curve balls, but they were good twists in the story so I want to keep the faith, but I’m struggling after tonight. It’s not like this is a murder mystery, but I can’t help but question Joon Young’s motives and actions towards JE. Shouldn’t everything he says or does lead to a confession of her hit and run? Isn’t that the only way for her to get her punishment? So how does wooing her help him fulfill that objective? How does hurting the one person he is trying to protect and making himself and Eul both miserable helping anything? Is it really necessary to turn your back on everything that matters to you in order to bring closure to something Eul already made peace with? If you asked Eul to choose between capturing her dad’s killer or spending more time with Joon before he dies, I wonder if she would even deliberate for a second.
Temptation is tricky. In a way, you still have some semblance of control. You can choose to act on your impulse or not. It’s right in front of you so all you have to do is make up your mind and reach out. It’s right at your fingertip, and yet it’s so far if you allow your conscience to factor in. It didn’t feel like Joon Young was holding back for her sake this time. He did it for himself. I think he knew if he allowed himself to let go and stop resisting the temptation to stay with her, he will never be able to stay away from her ever again. He doesn’t have any fight left in him to resist anymore. The desire to stay by her side gets stronger the closer he gets to his death.