Uncontrollably Fond: E16

I know this feeling all too well. When you ask questions you already know answers to. You brace yourself for the truth, but it still crushes you to hear the words spoken aloud. You knew something was wrong so you came for confirmation, but hearing it only serves to shatter whatever hope you had that this wasn’t happening. Now you have nothing to hold onto. Now you are forced to accept that the person you love is going to die. People describe this moment as having the rug pulled out from under you, but it’s really the other way around. It’s the moment you want to pull some protective covering over your head to drown out all the hopelessness and overwhelming desolation. It’s the moment you feel bereft, even before the person you love dies. The way Eul kept it together to hear what the doctor said to her, it has to be her bravest moment yet. She didn’t flinch or shy away from the truth. She managed to do something even Joon Young doesn’t have the guts to do yet; she was facing the inevitable.

The only thing he had going was that Eul didn’t know about his condition, but now he doesn’t even have that anymore. The look on his face is utter defeat -not from being unable to fight his condition, but from a different kind of loss. He wanted to spare Eul and his mom from the pain of losing him until the last possible moment, but now Eul has already begun on that path and I bet that’s why he looks so defeated.

E16

Starts with Joon calling for his dog asking where it is. he takes a drink from the fridge and looks at the camera and says I only dreamed of you for a week -why don’t you dream of me?

he goes to his bedroom and takes a call saying I will call later hyung. he looks at the camera and says I dont have time – stop running off and look at me Eul.

later he lays on his bed and looks at the camera again and says I just came from meeting the doctor. it’s gotten worse. so I dont think I will have much time to be by your side Eul. I worry the most that I wont be able to tell you how much I love you before I die.  Eul watches him mouth those words. Yoon PD comes over and comments why is it doing that. it doesnt seem like a problem with sound. why cant we hear what he says looking into the camera only. she cries and says I hear it-I hear really well what he is saying

Joon walks away and hears JE telling choi’s wife that she will give up on Ji tae and for the mom to do the same too. Joon kisses her. the mom tries to reach JE again but cant. Ji tae says he came to tell his mom that he will go as far as she does. he bows and leaves

Joon cleans up the broken glass. JE washes her face. she remembers Joon kissing her. she looks at her phone. she goes out and Joon asks if she sobered up. she tries to slap him but he stops her. she tells him to let go and insults him. Joon says for the next kiss take your engagement ring off and do it. he says how he isn’t that understanding and cant welcome a woman who wears her engagement ring.

Gook shows up and is shocked to see JE here. Joon asks him to drive her home cuz she drank a lot. she walks out first. Gook yells at Joon – the two of you didn’t do anything right? if you did you aren’t human.

Eul pulls up at Joon’s home in a cab and gets out. she goes to the door and is about to ring, but doesn’t

Gook tries to stop JE from driving cuz she drank, but she slaps him. she insults him for not taking her seriously. he says that he will just drive her and forget what he saw and heard today so dont worry.

Eul watches Gook drive JE away

flashback to Joon asking if she really doesnt want to see him and Eul saying she doesn’t. he tells her how it’s his fans’ lifetime wish to see him for just a minute or two. if they hear this they will want to kill you. she tells him to let her off in front of the hospital and get lost. he says ok – I get lost well.  I will get lost cleanly without a speck of dust left. but not now – after minimum 3 months maximum 4 months

Eul sits outside and cries

Joon draws her on the glass of his window

Haru lifts her arms in the air and prays for Jik and the ajumma comes in and scolds how could a 20 yr old want to follow what immature kids wrote on the internet. haru eats the paper cuz that’s how she will get her love but the ajumma makes her spit it out and takes it away. haru sees Jik texted and tells her to apologize to those childish kids cuz her wish came true.

Jik meets with haru and asks if she was very angry cuz he didnt take her calls and ignored her texts. he apologizes but she says I wasnt mad -while I couldn’t contact you -during that time I met tons of other guys. they were way better than you by a thousand times. he bows and leaves, but she blocks him asking where he is going. he reminds her how she met other guys way better than him so she tells him the truth that she hasnt met anyone. she has only looked at Joon for 3 years and now she moved to Jik.  even if I look like a party girl – I’m totally a one man girl.  she suddenly stops talking and swallows her spit. Jik worries and asks why she did that. are you going to try to do something again? he protects his lips. haru denies it -what would I do? I’m not a pervert. I am so innocent and pure so don’t worry kid. he lays down the rules and says they cant do any skinship until he graduates high school. they can hug only under special circumstances. he wants her to introduce him to her parents and he will introduce her to his sister. haru says I don’t understand a word of what you are saying. Jik wants them to get permission from both sides and formally date. don’t you like it? haru: it’s not that I don’t like it. is this the joseon era? it’s not like we are getting married. also why cant we kiss? there are so many varieties of it these days. he slaps her lips away and says that’s what others do. until I become a more responsible adult – as a responsible adult – I want to take responsibility for you. she wonders what he is saying and holds her head cuz it hurts. so I cant touch a hair on you until you graduate high school? jik: just hold hands. just hands. everyone does handshakes. he takes her hand but his heart races so he lets go and says I don’t think we can holds either. she whines why not?

Joon wakes up and opens his curtains. he gets a call from his doctor. Joon asks have you been well? the doc says a woman named Noh Eul came to see me this morning. Joon asks why would she do that?

Joon walks out and sees Eul there with the recording equipment

the doc says: cuz she said she came cuz she knew you were ill. so I told her the truth and asked for her help.

Eul asked the doctor: how much and where is Joon sick. you are his primary physician. I came knowing everything. dont think of deceiving me and don’t leave a single thing out and tell me everything. will Joon really die?

Joon asks how she came in and she says how could a top star’s secret passcode be 000. he asks if they didnt end it. she says we did say we would end it but I thought it over but if we end like this I feel like it’s not a fair transaction. he asks then what does he have to do to make it that way. Eul: let me continue working – not asking like a man meeting a woman –  it doesnt matter if you date another girl. it doesn’t matter if you hug another girl in front of me. just let me be by your side. she cuts her words off and says it would look good on her resume to work on his docu and it isnt worth exchanging for ten million. she pleads let me be on the star page thanks to you huh?  you’re going to let me right? but Joon says I don’t want to -keep your promise and don’t be annoying. leave my home within a minute.

Ji tae gets yelled at for trying to depose his mom. the man scolds Ji tae for trying to do that and leaves. he picks up the papers and JE comes over and tells him to stop. that his mom isn’t someone he can win against and only he would get hurt. she confesses I am falling for Joon -surprised huh? I was surprised too – that I could fall for another man that’s not you. I never even imagined it. my heart races cuz of Joon -will you really not hold onto me? Ji tae says I believe I already gave you my answer and walks off

choi’s mom glares at the back of JE’s head but puts on a smile when JE turns to greet her. the mom says you should have called if you arrived. she says how JE looks well and asks if she has something good happening these days. JE tries to bring up last night but the mom interrupts and invites her to eat dinner at her home today. you have time right? Ji tae will be eating dinner at home too. JE tries to speak but the mom doesn’t let her get in a word and gives JE a limited edition handbag -only two came into the country. JE brings up the call yesterday. the mom says you saying you will give up on Ji tae. I’m sorry. just be understanding and put up with Ji tae. JE takes her hand away and says I have another guy. I was with him yesterday. the mom says settle things with him (as in break up) if you cant then should I do it like I did in the past.

choi gets to Joon’s home and remembers the report that according to reporters -that’s Joon’s mom had him out of wedlock. then he remembers his brother telling him that woman Shin Ok had your child. choi asked when is joon’s bday and hears august 1,1989. then choi remembers meeting Joon during that rainy day when joon escorted him with his umbrella and had that conversation. then how Joon saved him from getting hit by Eul’s car. choi starts to cry.

Ji tae pulls up and choi is surprised to see him. Ji tae asks what brings you here. choi is here to ask Joon to sing for some hallyu event cuz he was told a personal request would go better. Ji tae: have you been crying father. choi denies crying. some cold wind got into his eyes. ji tae: how much do you know? choi: what are you talking about? Ji tae: how much do you know about your relationship with joon? choi: I don’t get what you are saying. Ji tae: I was mistaken. go in and meet Joon. I will come back later. choi asks how much do you know about my relationship with Joon? ji tae: as much as you know dad.

choi drives and almost hits pedestrians cuz he wasnt paying attention.

Ji tae stands outside Joon’s house and remembers watching his dad cry outside Joon’s home

Joon comes out

Joon gives him a drink. Ji tae asks did you know I was coming cuz you arent surprised at all. Joon: got caught acting. Ji tae: when do you die? the doctor didnt tell that? when you will die. Joon asks why? do you want me to hurry and die? Ji tae: well if your suppose to go (die) anyway. Joon: my doctor said a person’s life depends on human will. God can’t mess with it. sorry but I wont die quickly. I still have a lot to do. I still have a lot I wish to do. no matter what the doctor says – with all my dying strength I will live trying not to die. that is what my will decided to do. I might live longer than you if I do well.  Ji tae: I will do the avenging – whether it’s for you or Eul. I will do it all so don’t worry and go (die).  Ji tae: don’t mess with JE and cause problems and just quietly close your eyes as the cool, beautiful star shin Joon young. Joon calls him insane. Ji tae: they think of JE as their daughter in law – I don’t know what your plans are but don’t be such a bastard anymore and go quietly -this is my last warning. he leaves and Joon yells I said I wont go (die) so why keep telling me to go? I didn’t even get to live to be thirty yet.

Joon goes and takes all his meds out of its cases. he gets a call from M that Eul came to Joon’s mom’s restaurant

Joon’s mom tells Eul -no one is going to steal it from you so eat slowly. the mom pours her water and hits her back for her. his mom asks if Joon is behaving that rudely. eul says how did you know? the uncle comes over and remarks that Eul is just like the mom -when she is furious and wants to cry, she stuff her face with mixed rice. the mom tells him to go do his work. Eul asks the mom – why is Joon so mean? he is a monster. so selfish, rude, only thinks of himself, holds grudges, and doesn’t even think of others even a tiny bit. his mom asks are you insulting my son right now? eul says yes. I didnt even start yet. his mom tells her if Joon acts so strangely then meet another guy. eul: I want to do that too but there are no men. the mom says why aren’t there men – the world is half men. she points out the worker so M says he is mine.  the uncle tells M how is he yours – I didn’t give permission yet. the mom says the uncle is a man too so Eul jokingly asks him to date her so he orders a reservation to bring in a patient. the mom asks to meet after she eats

his mom asks I forgot for a second but didn’t you promise not to meet Joon? that you had confidence to do that – all you have to do is not meet and forget him so why cling to him and live getting hurt? just don’t meet him then.  why are you looking at me like that? Eul: ajumma please hug me. his mom: what? Eul: should I hug you? Eul hugs her and his mom says what are you doing – people are staring. Eul holds tight and says just for a minute. tell me to have strength and no matter hard it gets – to not cry. you to ajumma – no matter what happens – don’t cry too much-don’t get weary and have strength. his mom says worry about yourself- are you not going to break away – people are looking at us strangely. but Eul keeps hugging

Joon pulls up and sees them hugging

JE goes to the rooftop with the present she got from choi’s wife and how she told JE to settle it -if JE cant, she will like she did in the past. then how Joon told her to settle things cleanly with Ji tae before coming to him. and for the next kiss to do it without the ring. she watches footage of Joon on a digital billboard

Ji tae is in his car and sees the digital billboard.

Joon is filming the docu again. he was staring off in space so Nam asks where his attention is. Joon: what did you ask?  Yoon PD: you said the first bucket list was already in progress. could you reveal it to us-just a little bit? Joon: my first bucket list -the girlfriend I am trying hard to get -to call her confidently to join me on camera. Yoon: Kim Yuna? Joon: no.   Nam calls for NG and stops filming. he says Kim Yuna is your girlfriend -you revealed it was her. you forgot for a second huh? but Joon says you deceived people that way. Joon asks Yoon: you shouldn’t lie on a docu huh? Yoon asks what Nam meant.  Nam asks if the camera has been turned off. he whispers to Yoon so Joon asks are you going to cause trouble again. Nam says I didn’t say anything. Nam tells Yoon: there was some situation so I’ll tell you later while we eat.  Gook asks Joon: who is the girlfriend you are trying hard to get? Noh PD? Joon says no. Gook asks then director Yoon JE? Nam asks what nonsense Gook is saying but Joon says that’s correct. it is director Yoon JE

Eul shows up. they ask why she is here and she says to work and lists all the stuff she will do to help out Yoon. she passes out sweet bread for them. Joon’s head starts to hurt and his vision blurs. Nam yells at her to leave and says you were fired so how dare you come here. she threatens not to hand over the files she filmed if they don’t take her back. Nam says to call the police. Joon cant stand the pain and calls off the filming. Yoon says we just started. Joon asks them all to leave immediately and walks off. Eul tells them to leave but Nam throws the bread at her and yells it’s her fault Joon said that. Gook tells Nam to stop and asks Eul if she is ok cuz he is worried about her feelings. Gook quits again cuz he doesn’t like the way Joon mistreats Eul. Nam collapses again cuz of his blood pressure

Joon staggers to the bathroom and takes a punch of pills and faints on his way out.

Eul walks over and finds him in the hallway. she sits by his side and cries.  she wipes his face. when he comes to she tells him I was going to call 911 but rumors cant start so I didnt. he sits up. she tells him let’s go to the hospital. I will call dr. kang. he knocks her phone away and says I told you to go. she tells him the others all left so Joon says you go too. she says let’s get you admitted. dr kang said you had to be admitted as soon as possible. why aren’t you obeying the doctor. get admitted and let’s get you treatments. he tells her to go again. she asks why he is being stubborn. cuz you don’t want to be caught by people that you are sick? is that important now? when you are going to die. let’s go to the hospital. forget the docu and everything and get admitted.  get admitted and do every treatment you can. he drags her out so she warns I will tell everyone. if you keep not listening – I will tell everyone everything. can I do that? then your mom will find out. Joon: do whatever you want. he slams the door on her. he resets his keypad so she cant enter again

choi is in his car when Ji tae pulls up to their home. ji tae goes over to his car. choi gets out. ji tae says you got off work really late. choi: you are late too. ji ate: no matter what happens promise you wont leave mom. choi: I wont. ji tae thanks him. choi asks him can you promise you wont leave your mom no matter what happens. Ji tae says no – that’s why I am asking – for you not to leave mom at least

JE freshens up and goes out. haru says it’s been a long time. JE says the same back. the mom asks JE to taste something but haru asks to speak with JE first. I will borrow her for five mins. haru asks if a guy has a girl he likes -he will want to hold hands and kiss -that’s normal isn’t it? JE: it is. haru: when you dated my brother – who did the skinship first usually? when and where was the first kiss? I am an adult – I know everything I should know.

choi comes in with ji tae asking what the young women are having so fun talking about secretly. JE says I was invited to dinner by mother. choi: it’s good you came. the mom comes over asking if they are hungry. Ji tae says you should have told me JE was invited. choi asks him to go wash up with him. but JE says I would have come even if I hadn’t been invited.  I have something to tell them. the mom asks for everyone to go to the table and takes JE’s hand to ask her to look at the salad but JE pulls her hand away. she walks over to Ji tae and gives back the ring and says let’s stop playing house. JE tells choi that she already told ji tae and the mom that she has another man. when you helped me out in the past, I think my father compensated for that debt of gratitude plenty. so I hope you wont hold onto me over that matter.  the mom asks to speak to her but JE tells choi she will be going.  she tells the mom she left the bag in the mom’s room. I can buy bags like that if I want. the mom asks why are you being this way? JE bows and leaves but choi asks who the new guy she is dating is. Ji tae looks panicked

Joon lays on his sofa and then sits up. he looks around like he is searching. he calls out for his dog.

Eul is under the cover in bed. Jik ask nari for her hand. then he hugs her and pets her cheek and hair. she thinks he is going crazy. he asks her to kiss him. she thinks he went totally crazy. he kisses her cheek and wonders why his heart will burst just holding haru’s hand when kissing nari did nothing. Eul gets up and says that crazy guy -that insane bastard. nari and Jik think she is talking about him so they both point to Jik. she leaves

Joon calls for his dog. he calls Gook and Gook says why call me – I am not your manager. Joon asks if he took his dog away. I cant see him no matter how much I look. Gook asks if he is teasing someone and to find a better excuse to make a call – that Joon sent the dog away not too long ago to the country to live where the air is good. Joon doesn’t remember doing that but then he does. Gook doesn’t want to speak to him so he hangs up

Eul bangs on his door and asks him to open it. she tries the code but it doesn’t work so she asks why he had to be so cheap and change the passcode. I have something to say. open the door.  she asks are you pushing me away  on purpose. cuz I might have a hard time after you go? you thought that was being considerate of me? don’t be mistaken. when did we have such an impressive love -I cant understand a word of what you are saying and you couldn’t understand a word of what I was saying – it was all a lie- for a man not to see a woman as a woman -that was all a lie -I like you – I love you that’s why not seeing you right now – every second every minute is a total waste -so from here on – I wont do anything but just look at you and live. sticking to your side -I will look at you until I bore a hole into your face. she bangs on the door though her hand is bruised and red and begs please look at me -open the door. I want to see you.

he starts to walk towards her but gets a call from Gook. Gook says I called again cuz I forgot something that I wanted to tell you – no matter how impressive a star you are -if you just recklessly seduce any woman – drive a nail into the heart of a pitiful girl -if you live your life that way, you will be punished and go to hell. Joon suddenly asks what “statute of limitations 13 days” mean that is saved on his phone alarm that he doesn’t know about so Gook says “why ask me – how do I know.” they hang up.

JE drives up and sees Eul standing there. she ignores her and smiles as she rings the bell.

Joon walks to the door and JE smiles at him and holds up her hand and says I took off the engagement ring and came. can I go in now? she hugs him. Eul steps forward and sees JE hugging him. he looks at Eul. he looks like he just lost his soul.

end

(the editing team messed up big time and showed the same screencaps from last night’s episode instead of tonight’s.)

preview

JE asks Joon for a kiss (to formalize their relationship)

Joon’s mom says to him: you really like Eul so why …with another girl? he puts his hand over her mouth so she cant finish her sentence

Eul falls off the bed so Joon slides his body over on the floor so she can fall onto his chest

Joon’s mom says to Eul: if you keep badmouthing and insulting my Joon – you are a bad girl too

Joon: I will propose to the woman I love today

Yoon makes a toast for choi’s family and his to end their acquaintance

choi warns Joon: while I say it nicely – stop here. dont mess with anything I have.

choi’s mom calls JE and interrupts the romantic date JE is having with Joon by saying: when you hit a person in a hit and run -if you don’t believe me – come over to watch

JE says to Joon: he/she isn’t someone you can go up against

JE’s dad slaps her and says if I tell you to leave – leave

people find out about Joon so Ji tae confronts his mom asking if she did that

Joon tells Eul: watch what happens on this monitor from now on and no matter what don’t look away -the cruel bride decided to become more cruel

choi’s wife: whose flowing blood hurts more

Illness seems to touch everyone and everywhere. It’s the universal rallying cry that reaches people around the globe. There is no escape from it. No amount of denial will make it go away. All you can do is hope you have enough courage to face it. Once the prognosis is given, it’s like the gavel that a judge uses to pronounce your sentence. You have to take the dire news in steps and waves- shock, disbelief, bitterness, etc. It keeps going till you only have hope left. Very few people come to terms well enough to embrace acceptance. Joon certainly hasn’t. Despite his body failing on him, he is still fighting the reality of his condition. He lives to survive each incident. Each bout of pain and suffering reminds him he is losing time, but he still celebrates that at least it wasn’t the last one of these yet. I wonder if he knows he is only allotted a certain number of those. That he will reach his limit one day and not wake up after one. I wonder if Eul realizes yet that she is the one giving him the strength to keep hanging on. Joon can no longer live for himself so now he is living for Eul. Every ounce of fight left in him will be to hold on so he can confess everything to her. I have no doubt that he will clear his conscience and his heart before he dies. I only wish he would hurry and start talking now and not wait for that last moment.