Uncontrollably Fond: E7

Wishes sure do come true in the most unexpected ways. I wanted progress and boy howdy did I get it. I knew all that counting to rein in his feelings wouldn’t work when your heart makes you lose control. When words no longer work, you find another way to communicate your true feelings.

It’s been so long since I loved a drama this much. This one is hitting all the right notes with me. I love these smaller scenes that seem insignificant at first glance, but are magnified by the enormity, weight, and breadth of their growing feelings for each other.  It encapsulates exactly how two people falling in love should be feeling.

Written after it aired so be warned of spoilers:

Counting till even a hundred wouldn’t have worked. The first sight of Eul makes Joon forget any promises to himself to run away from her. How did he expect to run away from emotions? You carry with them in your heart, mind, and soul. They aren’t something you can turn off or on just because the object of your affection appears in front of you or not. He should have known better – emotions get the best of us. They rule our lives even if we don’t want them to. They can control our thoughts and actions without our consent. I can’t remember how many foolish things I did in the name of love that my rational side wanted to berate. The problem with Joon Young is that his emotions are also clouded by his impending death. Just look at the crazy things he has done so far to show his love for Eul. That ticking time clock in his body is accelerating his need to convince Eul of his love so that she can finally return some of it for a change. Let’s just hope her reaction to his kiss will be positive, but considering that it was probably her first kiss ever, she might have wanted some say so in when and how it occurred.

 

E7

Starts from Joon sitting on the bench remembering that night.

Eul opened her eyes and saw him sitting there staring at the picture but closed her eyes again. Joon said I came all this way to take you to the island, but I’m going alone. if I take you -hiding you away on that island really well-  I wouldn’t want to send you to anyone so don’t appear before my eyes no matter what. if I see you again, I  will wrap you up.

Eul comes over and scolds – how can you sleep when you got people worried about you. she removes his sunglasses muttering – are you filming a movie. as if anyone would say you aren’t an actor. He just glares at her. Eul: I’m crazy. cuz I worried about someone like this -what crazy things did I do?  took an expensive cab from seoul to here. couldn’t sleep in a cold place from shivering and waiting for the boat. got bit on the hand by a seagull. oh my money -do you know how many times i could have fed my brother Jik meat with that money. Joon counts “one” in his head and gets up and walks away from her. She asks him if he thinks this is a dream – this isnt a dream and she came all this way to find him. he counts “2” in his head.  she keeps telling him she is really Eul but he counts “3” in his head. then he tells her to go and get lost. he walks away again and she says what to do. she is worried she did something terrible while she was drunk. she tells herself never to drink again.

she goes over to him and hands him a yogurt to drink saying you didnt eat breakfast yet right. she tries to make him drink but stabs his lips with the straw by accident. she says sorry – didnt I say that I forget everything when I get drunk. what’s more amazing is that I don’t even remember a second after I’m drunk. Joon counts in his head “4”. she says I dont remember what I did when I was drunk. I have to remember what I did to apologize or not. I really want to apologize but why cant I remember even a second (of what happened). Joon counts inwardly “5”.  she gets a call and walks away to take it

Ji tae called and asked why she didn’t pick up and where she is. she says something urgent came up and had to go without saying bye so sorry. Ji tae asks if she is with Joon and she says no then tells the truth. Joon sees the boat coming and walks away. she explains that she did something wrong to Joon and will call back later

JiTae gets the photo of him that night and learns that JE saw that photo already and that JE already started investigating who Eul is

on the boat Eul keeps saying how she doesnt remember anything still. she is about to clean off his shoes but he counts “6” in his head and walks away

She keeps chasing after him asking if he isn’t hungry and offers to buy him food. then she confronts him and admits she drank and acted drunk so what of it. my dad says the one most cowardly in the world is one who gets drunk and insults. he told me not to even talk to people like that. Joon counts “7” in his head and is about to walk away but she blocks him. she offers for Joon to hit her until his anger subsides but all he does is count “8” in his head and pokes her head away.

he goes to his car and Gook is sleeping inside in the back. she gets in the car and says that Joon holds grudges a long time. who is the one who made me get that drunk? aren’t you the one who should apologize. he says for her to get out but she doesnt want to so he gets out to grab a cab.

she says how she really doesnt remember what she did (when she was drunk) for him to be this upset. he counts to himself 9 and a half as he walks away. she yells  she remembers him piggybacking her and how she threw up while on his back –  she remembers how he changed her clothes too. she starts to say I remember how you confessed to me but he stopped counting at “9 half and half and half” and gets in the cab and she yells why get in a cab when your car is here.

joon tells the driver to go to seoul

she goes back and wakes Gook and he asks about Joon

Gook is driving and wonders what Eul did so wrong to Joon for Joon to leave his car and take a cab. Eul asks what could I have done for him to be so upset? Gook: you want me to answer that? she hits her head to remember so Gook hits her too

Joon looks for his phone and remembers how he threw it in the water. he asks the driver to lend him his phone and the driver recognizes him

Joon’s mom is eating when the uncle takes it away from her and wants her to spit out what’s in her mouth but she swallows it. she gets a call from an unknown number.  uncle wonders if it’s Joon. she asks who is Joon. she takes the call and says hello. Joon says it’s me mom -you worried a lot huh? she speaks in jeondae and says sorry but you called the wrong person and hangs up. uncle knows it’s Joon so he calls the number back and Joon is happy she called back but his smile fades a bit when the uncle says it’s me and not your mom. uncle scolds Joon saying are you in your right mind or not? how much must you upset your mom to come to your senses? do you know how much your mom worried about you? the mom denies worrying about Joon. she tries to get the uncle to end the call so they struggle. the uncle tells him what she had been eating (cuz that food item means she is really upset). the uncle keeps emphasizing how much the mom worried about Joon so she throws her shoe at him and yells at the uncle to hang up. he runs away.

Joon tells him I know how much mom worries about me. uncle went out to speak to Joon and asks how Joon got caught by a gold digger. he reminds Joon of what happened with Gook and a gold digger and how Gook even went to jail and how Joon had to get him out of trouble with his contract money so Joon says “she isn’t a gold digger uncle. ”  His mom grabs the phone and says into it – if she isn’t a “ghot- baem” (gold digger) then is she a “mool-baem” (water snake)? you said you were a hallyu star with lots of money, building, and filthy rich. is a guy that impressive not able to judge women that much? how could you like such a gold digger…but Joon smiles and says I like that girl mom. I just realized not too long ago but I love that girl a lot. the uncle thinks that Joon has been ensnared by that girl and doesn’t want him to lose his senses. Joon continues and tells his mom –  that’s why I keep running away from her. if I keep appearing in front of her eyes ,  I think she might get what it means so I keep running away with all my might

Gook explains to Eul that he thinks Joon is being sincere and not joking about liking her. how Joon treats his dog like a sibling but kicked him outside cuz of her dog allergies. eul can’t believe it. Gook agrees it’s absurd cuz there are so many other wonderful women (other than Eul) for Joon to like so this kind of stuff cant happen. Eul: unless he is crazy – why does he like me? Gook is amused by her and thinks she should be cool and admit that this is so great (that Joon likes her). of course in the fairytale, the prince marries Cinderella but to be honest Cinderella is kind, genteel, and refined. Eul yells she is those things too. Gook: these days Joon’s health doesn’t seem good – last time when he filmed a drama, he hit his head hard -maybe his brain swelled. if his brain is swollen he might not behave rationally. I think I need to take him to the hospital soon. Eul tell him to cut that out cuz she is sitting right there.  Gook asks do you really not remember what you did to Joon? she asks if Joon isn’t kidding -if he is sincere – if he likes me for real – what should I do? Gook says for her to come along when they take Joon to the hospital (to get his head checked)

Joon goes to see his dog. he says have you been well. sorry you didnt get to eat huh? I will go get it. He stands up and suddenly his head hurts a lot.

choi’s wife hears that Joon is really ill and has a brain tumor. that the tumor is located in a bad place so surgery will be difficult. that Joon is refusing to be hospitalized or treated. Mrs. choi asks if Joon’s mom doesnt know her son is ill and is told his mom doesnt know. that Joon didnt want anyone including his family or agency to know and wanted it kept a secret. choi’s wife says poor Joon and his mom

Choi and Yoon are in a meeting with some men arguing over a possible candidate they might endorse. choi is saying the candidate doesn’t have the right even though the other older man favors him. choi argues it’s cuz the candidate wont be any help to them. the candidate is still under inspection for some bad things and one guy says it might never surface so don’t worry. choi points out that even if the guy’s bad acts do not surface now they might later at some point. Yoon says who among us have not sinned before -everyone makes mistakes. shouldn’t we help each other out when things are difficult. choi says by doing that – regrets are left from choosing to do something you don’t want to.  Yoon laughs and says choi has a lot of time on his hands if he has time to regret

{choi was indirectly referring to the fact that he regrets helping out Yoon in covering up JE’s hit and run accident)

later on when he is alone choi says “bastard”

Haru is in the bath and reads bad things online and gets upset. she screams and brings the ajumma running in. Haru is upset that online people are insulting Joon. that he ran away with a girl and is living a domestic life with her. netizens have insulted his past films too by saying that it failed cuz of Joon’s first love and stuff. the ajumma thinks people have way too much time to waste to make up stuff like this so well. Haru reminds the ajumma how Haru’s dream is to become Joon’s wife so the ajumma says that cant happen. haru asks for more scented oils from her room so the ajumma says that Haru already lit up a truckload so come out of the tub now. Haru still thinks she smells like trash though and mutters for Jik to wait cuz she is going to go get revenge

{who keeps macaroons and fruits near the tub during a bath -what a spoiled princess}

Jik goes to meet Ji Tae at his supposed “go-shi – won” (tiny, cheap rooms lent out to students for them to study in. Ji tae had lied that he lives in that poor place all this time) and asks for his room number but the guard says it’s his first time hearing the name Lee Hyun woo. Jik thinks it’s strange cuz Ji Tae lived there for over two years. Jik shows a photo of Ji tae to the guard and the guard never saw him before. suddenly Ji tae calls so Jik asks where are you? I’m at your go shi won now.  Jitae is in his car and says I moved out of there. didn’t I tell you? jik: you didn’t tell me. which go shi won did you move to? I’ll go there. Ji tae says no I had some work so I’m in Taejon. Is it urgent? I’m on my way up now so I’ll go to your workplace. see you later.

Ji Tae changes his clothes and goes in. He asks why Jik was in a rush to find him. Jik says that wasnt it and gives Ji Tae the most expensive drink in the store. Jik admits that his sister had a one sided love (crush) with Joon in the past and Jik read what she wrote in her diary. she knew Joon was Nari’s boyfriend and ended her feelings cleanly but if Joon wavers she will think what kind of blessing is this and fall for him right away. Ji tae says isnt it a good thing that superstar Joon likes Eul  but Jik says Joon and my sister live in different worlds -people have to meet with people who live in the same world as them – living style has to be similar – eating has to be similar – wearing similar things – wanting the same things. Ji Tae: so what is it that you want to say to me? Jik: please hold onto my sister  – you are the only one who can make her come to her senses.

Joon is laying in bed in the dark all sweaty.

He gets up and washes his face. he takes some pills.

when he gets out Eul is in the kitchen cooking. she burns herself so he goes over and runs the water over her finger. she asks when he woke. it seemed like he was sleeping so she didn’t wake him. he doesnt say anything and just runs her finger under the water. she explains how his manager let her in through the back cuz of the reporters in front of the gate. he keeps counting in his head  9 half half half. she says it’s ok now cuz her finger is thick so he stops and walks away. she asks where are you going? aren’t you going to eat? she mutters to herself – how she worked hard to cook it to feed him. she says forget it – don’t eat – I will eat it all myself. she tastes the steak and says how salty it is. she mutters am I a contagious patient –  why keep avoiding -if he is angry then all he has to do is look me in the face and resolve it. why is a guy so cowardly.

Joon closes the blinds and turns off the lights and she asks what he is doing

the agency president is on the phone and finds out from the reporters outside that lights came on and off in Joon’s house so the president asks what kind of strange scenarios they are coming up with. he lies the ajumma went in a while ago to feed the dog. Joon really isn’t home. just please stop your useless suffering and go home. aren’t your kids waiting up for you? Man Ok comes in and reads off the internet that no one has seen Joon and Eul for two days -maybe they committed suicide together like Romeo and Juliet. the president lies into the phone and says to tell the truth Joon just called and his stress is so severe that he doesn’t know why he did that so I told him to take some time for himself quietly. Man Ok reads aloud that Eul went from gold digger to Juliet in one day. president lies into the phone Joon is hanging out with his manger and not alone. Noh PD probably already came back up to Seoul so try calling her if you don’t believe me. Gook comes in and hears the president say into the phone that he will die in front of the reporter if Joon really likes Eul. if Joon really cant judge women to that extent – I will give up my life and everything. Gook tells him not to say such things so recklessly. the president lies into the phone that Joon is dating someone else to tell the truth. Kim Yuna – she is in the same agency. she is dating Joon right now. it’s been a year. some reporter got the scent and have been spying after them so Joon wanted to distract them somehow so he gave this performance

JE rips up the photo of Ji tae with eul and joon. she goes to meet Ji tae on their date and asks if he gave her Christmas roses again. Ji tae remembers the report that she already saw the photo but replies aloud – it’s cuz they seem to suit her.  she thanks him for the flowers. Ji tae remembers how he was told that she is already investigating to see what kind of person Noh PD is. Ji tae asks if she wants wine but she asks for a kiss instead. he asks if it’s ok to do it here but she says it’s ok cuz they are getting married soon anyway. she walks over and leans in for the kiss but he says I heard you saw that photo. the picture taken of the girl with me and Joon at his concert. her name is Noh Eul. 28 years old. Skype production vision docu PD. limited studies in broadcasting.  parents passed away -only remaining family is one younger brother. you dont need to hire someone else to find out separately. JE asks what their relationship is but he doesnt want to accept that question cuz if he answers that question he cant keep his promise to JE.  but she tells him to answer – does he like that girl.  he says let’s drink wine but JE yells answer me so he says yes I like her. she throws wine at him and asks are the Christmas roses the only thing you can give. he says yes so she says I will be sure to make you regret this moment and leaves.

Joon explains reporters are still outside and haven’t left. they are also blocking the back door. if lights are on they will think people are inside. after two hours if there is no sign they’ll  quit for the day so you can leave then. Eul suddenly says in a scary voice that a friend of Jik’s finished his academy and went home but his mom was waiting for him in the elevator. it was going up first floor second floor third floor but his mom suddenly said – do you see me as your mom? she is poised as a hovering ghost behind him but Joon isn’t scared at all and asks what she is doing. she says a ghost story. she went to his fan cafe and it said he is really scared of scary stories. I did it to tease you – why? he tells her there is a ghost behind her so she gets scared so he turns the lights back on. she is hunched over in fright so he smiles and counts 9 half half half half half. he sits and says I think you are more scared of ghosts. she asks if it’s ok to turn the lights on. he says the curtains are specialized so she asks why tell me that now? Joon: to tease you. She jumps on him and says do you want to die? is it fun teasing me. Joon looks at her seriously and says “ten – I counted till ten – I ran away as much as I could. Eul: what are you saying. Joon sits up with her on his lap and says: I ran away really hard but you are still here. Eul: what are you talking about.  he reaches out to wipe her face but doesn’t and says i’m hungry – let’s eat. Eul: you said you wouldnt eat. Joon: when did I say that?

he tells her to sit and pours the wine. she asks why he is like this suddenly. you are acting like a different person from a while ago. making a person get confused. are you shin Joon Young’s twin? he laughs it off.  he starts eating and she asks isnt it salty. he says it’s yummy. he checks her injured finger and goes to get medicine. she wonders what is this – who is he? a ghost? she tastes the food and deems it salty

Joon was about to throw up but swallows the food instead cuz it’s food she made for him. he washes up and smiles

she asks if he spit the food out cuz it was salty. he says no- why would I spit out what you made. she pokes him and confirms he is a person and not a ghost that captured him and changed into him by taking over his body. he jokes in a ghostly voice- do I still look like shin joon young to you? she wonders why he is like this suddenly -making a person afraid. cuz he had been so scary before. why suddenly be so good to me. Joon mutters is being nice to you a problem too. She makes an off hand comment that if people suddenly change they will die. it makes him stop midway from putting the bandaid on her but he forces a smile

{Eul keeps making these off hand remarks about dying and I’m so afraid she will hate herself for her slip ups later when she learns the truth of his condition. I hope she doesn’t remember every single comment she made that stung him accidentally}

nari is dressed up ready to run into reporters when she goes out to meet Ji tae. he remarks that the reporters left so she is disappointed they didn’t say they would be leaving cuz she even set her hair. he asks about Eul so nari says she isn’t home. she isn’t picking up her phone either huh? she was running low on battery a while ago. Ji tae asks if Eul is with joon. nari says yes cuz Eul has something to resolve with Joon so she told me to go ahead and sleep first.

choi calls his son and asks where he is and wants to drink. Ji tae doesnt want to get in trouble with mom for drinking with his dad and tells his dad not to drink. but choi says I will only drink today and quit. just for today be my drinking friend. but Ji tae says sorry but I have some work today. go home cuz mom will be worried. choi accuses him of favoring his mom and says see you later at home.

choi remembers the card madam song gave him and dismisses his driver so he can drive himself

choi goes to meet madam song. she says not to stare so much – he might burrow a hole in her. choi says sorry. she asks if this is all he wants her to do again today. for her not to pour his drink. not to show him aeygyo -not touching a hair on her – not hold her hand even once. is he that scared of his wife. he says yes. she asks about Young Ok – his ex the one she resembles. so that when you are drunk -you called me Young Ok. choi says yes she was my ex. madam song says if you still cant forget her then you must have loved her a lot. he says yes – I wronged her a lot. she asks can I like you? choi: don’t do that. there is no woman in my life anymore.

{fact: in typical room salons men sleep with the hostesses there because room salons are super expensive for that reason. the cost runs in the thousands or more depending on how big the room and how much alcohol is consumed.}

choi’s wife gets a call and hears where choi is. she is livid.

Joon’s mom is staring off into space ignoring her customer.

Ji tae rings the bell at Joon’s home.

Eul is standing on the balcony and throws the dog something she likes a lot – a sausage. she says eat up – I savor that but I’m giving it to you- sorry for making you suffer outside when it’s cold. she mutters aloud – aren’t dogs supposed to be raised outside so the dog hears that and takes affront.  she says sorry again and promises to fix her allergy by taking meds. she wonders if she can film the docu in this situation cuz she might get hit to death by Joon’s fans. the bell rings so she thinks it’s reporters again and they haven’t left yet -what to do. should I tell the reporters it’s not like that -that it’s all a lie. the dog barks no.

Ji tae says into the intercom  to Joon – you are home right now aren’t you? you are with Eul right? reporters are gone so send Eul out. send her out right now! Joon hears her coming so he turns the intercom off

Eul comes over and asks who is it -its the reporters right? is there another way out of the house through the basement. in dramas and movies there are in big homes like this.  she checks and says her phone has finished charging. Joon suddenly makes her do rock paper scissors. he says I win so you do dishes.

Ji tae keeps ringing the bell with no response

Eul is washing dishes and muttering she should have made a fist (for rock). why did I do rock paper scissors. she gets a call from Nari. Nari asks if she saw the internet news. Eul: no I haven’t. why? did someone insult me again? Nari: I cant believe this. is Joon crazy? Eul: why?

Joon goes out when JiTae is still banging on the gate wall. Joon says I wont send Eul – I’m going to have her (as in keep her). Ji Tae: is she an object (to have)? Joon: you are the one who let go of her hand so don’t linger and get lost. JI tae says I think you are the one who should get lost from her side. joon: what? Ji Tae: I don’t have any right too, but you don’t have any right more than me. think of what you did to her -how could you look her in the face and say you like her? Joon makes a fist

suddenly Eul calls Joon’s name. While Ji Tae listens on the other side, Joon goes over and says why did you come out when reporters are still here. she says I heard you have been dating Kim Yuna for over a year. Joon: what? Eul: You just used me to distract from the scandal. Joon: who said such things? Eul: it’s already all over the internet. your agency president did the interview himself. to protect Kim Yuna you were playing around with me. Joon: that’s not it. Eul: from the start it didn’t make sense. you liking me – how could that make sense? Joon: I don’t know what you saw or what you heard -it’s all a lie. Eul: still – thanks to Kim Yuna the talk of me being a gold digger has gone away so I can walk around with ease now. Joon: I said it wasn’t so. Eul: I am gonna sue for emotional distress. I should try to get some money out of this since it turned out like this. I have to have something left too. she tries to walk away but he stops her. Joon: it’s not like that. just listen to me. dont listen to others – please -listen only to me. she walks away but he holds her back and says I love you. I love you.  she says stop -everyone in the country knows you are a good actor – stop now. but he keeps saying I love you. Eul cries and says: my Jik told me to be careful so much-  that you and I are from different worlds now – every word you say – every action – not to fall for it or be mistaken – not to waver – not to get hurt – he warned me so much. she shakes her hand away and yells – yes I am the crazy one. I am the crazy one. I should have listened to what Jik said.

Suddenly Joon cuts her off with a kiss.

end

preview

Joon’s mom yells for him to stop and asks what are you doing?

some girl says poor Noh PD cuz she is a shield (for Joon and that other girl yuna)

Ji Tae and Joon meet and Joon points out how expensive Ji Tae’s watch is and asks why are you hiding that expensive designer watch as crap – what is your purpose?

someone tells Ji Tae to let go of Noh PD (end your feelings for her)

Joon says to her I love you – I never used you – just look at me – just listen to me

Joon says to Ji Tae -does love involve rights?  if I like her I just need to like her

JE asks Ji Tae: do you like her that much. in one month we will be one family

Eul: mom?

Uncle sees Eul and says aren’t you that gold digger?

Joon holds Eul’s hand and introduces her to his mom and says this is the girl I like.  I will never let go of her even if I die.

JiTae is correct in saying Joon doesn’t have the right to say he loves Eul based on his past actions, but there is something crucial Ji Tae isn’t taking into consideration. Joon may have lost his right to love her, but he never let that stop him from continuing to love her. Ji Tae has always hidden behind his excuses that he doesn’t have the right, but he caused and compounded most of those excuses himself by lying to her all these years. He had his chance to make amends and try to gain her love, but he was the cowardly one who kept thinking he didn’t have the right because he was Choi’s son. Joon has known the truth the same amount of time as Ji Tae about what Choi did to her father and yet, Joon is the daring one right now not letting that fact stand in his way. His failing health might have been what motivated Joon to act now and speak up about his feelings for Eul, but the point is he is actually doing something about it, unlike Ji Tae. Just like the last scene when Ji tae stood behind that wall eavesdropping on what’s going on between Joon and Eul on the other side, that’s what Ji Tae has been doing with his own feelings for Eul. He has been standing in the sidelines, acting as her protector and savior, watching everything, and not making any changes. He set aside his love so he could get married to JE. He pushed back his true feelings for Eul for the sake of being an obedient son to Choi. That’s why Ji tae doesn’t have the right to lecture Joon. He shouldn’t compare himself or put himself in the same shoes as Joon. You have the right when you realize nothing going forward or going back is going to keep you away from the one you love. You also have the right to fight for her as long as you promise to earn back the right to love her.