Uncontrollably Fond: E4

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Instead of his impending death being a catalyst for Joon Young to change his reckless ways, I think it’s going to make him even more so. He is determined to plow his way to her heart no matter how big the obstacles that stand in the way like his guilt over putting her in the hospital, almost killing her in trying to protect his dad, by being the offspring of the man who allowed her father’s killer to go free, and even assisting his dad to get away with felonies. Despite everything Joon Young put Eul through, he knows this is his last chance to find any happiness. He was willing to give up everything including his life to save her, but now that it’s time to pay up, he still wants it all. It’s scary how single minded he is about living the rest of the time left on his own terms. Just like in the past when they were younger, he puts her in a position where she can’t say no to him. It was cute and all when they were kids, but now I’m starting to wish he would allow Eul to have a voluntary voice in this relationship too. I guess he doesn’t get that if he doesn’t come on so strong, she might have a chance to remember how much she used to like him. It’s not just time that he is running out of now. Joon Young is also running out of excuses.

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blogger rant: I am having a nightmare with my KMplayer. It keeps crashing on me and not opening my screencap folder. I love this player cuz it produces sharper images, but I downloaded the stupid thing like 5 different versions and each time it gets worse cuz I accidentally also downloaded other programs I didn’t even need with it. I’ve been using my GOM player for E2 and E3, but my screencaps look so hazy that I hate it. I even tried using bigger files that are 1.3 gig to make the picture clearer with no luck.

At least I’m almost getting the hang of recapping live again. I still forgot how I made headers and widget photo links so if you don’t see any new headers or widget link for this drama, it certainly isn’t cuz I’m not into it. On the contrary, I love this show more with each episode. I’m going to try to play around with photo editor this weekend and hopefully have some new headers and widgets to display soon. Fingers crossed.

 

E4

Starts from Joon driving and remembering what Gook said about Eul and what if she jumps to her death. Joon mutters how ridiculous it was for her to go to the river cuz it’s too cold even to go there to look out. He spots her and drives by Eul on the han river bridge then he turns his car around to go back to her.

Eul watches a couple taking photos down below and leans over to take a video cuz they are juno and yoobi – Eul guesses they really are dating after filming a movie together.

Just then Joon comes over and pulls her away and asks if living is that much of a joke and if it’s that easy to die and that he will film the docu

the doctor comes out and informs Jik and Nari that the danger has passed and surgery ended well. he tells Jik that Eul wont die so don’t worry. they thank him as Joon listens. He finally allows himself to cry.

J watches him

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Joon withdraws from school and when asked why cuz he already passed the bar – Joon says if someone like me becomes a prosecutor there will really be no hope for this country (quoting what Eul said to him)

Joon walks around and enjoys the beauty of nature

*I feel like this is when his life started anew. He dropped out -not just as punishment for what he did to Eul, but because he did the same bad thing his dad did – he helped to cover up a crime and committed some himself. With such a terrible start, he really would have been a terrible prosecutor by not valuing the law. More importantly – as a human being, he didn’t value honor and love. His first duty should have been to Eul and her cause, not to protect a man who committed felonies.

Nari is making Eul look pretty. Eul looks in the mirror and cant believe she looks like this. Nari thinks she looks good with makeup. she wants to sprinkle gold glitter under Eul’s eyes. Eul wipes off the lipstick cuz she doesn’t want to go to Joon like this. are you asking me to seduce Joon right now? I am going there to work. nari says yes go work. you think he is some kid that will be seduced by you if you did? when there are so many pretty chaebol daughters that are rich and prettier than you around him. someone like you isn’t even in his league. Eul: then why wear makeup? Nari explains that she doesn’t like her to show up looking poor or gaudy and look down on her. Eul says I am ok with it if he does but Nari says I am not.  my pride wont allow it. our memories of being close once will become too pitiful then. Eul gives her permission to sprinkle the glitter

{Can I just say – what in the holy moses is Eul wearing? It was bad enough her coat on the bridge scene made her look like a walking talking carpet, but now her outfit looks like she is color blind and on drugs. She looks like clowns and acrobats in a circus dressed her)

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Joon is posing in front of the mirror and admiring himself. he can’t figure out how he could possibly be sick

Joon is getting dressed when Gook runs over laughing and tells Joon to come over (to the intercom monitor) cuz she is outside the door and it’s more than he ever imagined. they stand and stare at “made up” Eul outside the door. Gook says how Eul tried vey hard to look good for Joon by making herself up so much. Gook knows no matter how much she tries that Joon wont fall for it. they see her pose and take selfies. Gook thinks neighbors will call the police thinking she is crazy. he is about to let her in but Joon stops him and tells him to go feed the dog. Joon cant take his eyes off her.

she tells herself that she is pretty the more she looks. how hard was it for our Eul to live hiding how pretty I am. he can hear all of that.

Nari rides up and says sorry for making Eul wait so long. Eul asks what’s going on – cuz she was told to wait and not go in. Nari makes her take off the earrings and switch bags-it bothered her to send Eul off with fake things so she borrowed the originals from her friend. cuz guys like Joon know right off the real and the fakes. Eul thinks it’s ok to wear fakes but Nari says it’s totally humiliating. she could be looked down as a fake. Eul: that guy will look down on me no matter what I do. his temperament is so crappy. it doesn’t even compare to how much of a jerk he was in the past. Joon looks offended by her words. Nari looks around and is impressed by his home and cant believe he lives alone in this mansion. Nari tells Eul there is nothing to cower for  -Joon isn’t the only one with a bad temperament cuz once you lose your temper you’re almost like a dog. Eul agrees and says don’t worry friend.  Nari says if Joon acts furious -just humor him cuz how did all this start? you went so far as to perform that you were about to commit suicide. Eul: it wasn’t a suicide performance -I never told him I was going to commit suicide he misunderstood on his own. how could I die and leave our Jik alone.

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a light bulb goes off in Joon’s head so it doesn’t look good for Eul.

Eul is trying to get in and keeps ringing the intercom but Joon didnt open the door so she calls Gook and says she has been waiting outside Joon’s home for over ten mins and kept ringing the bell with no response. he promises to look into it and call her back while he stares at her in the monitor

he mutters to himself – why do you think he did that -it’s cuz Joon’s temper flared up again

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she keeps calling out Joon’s name and says aren’t you inside? I will freeze to death so open the door. what is this – is he teasing a person after calling them over? she is about to kick the door when he suddenly opens it so she says hi in banmal but he says hello in jeondae. so she does too. she says the intercom must be broken. the film crew will be here soon but he cuts her off and says they wont be coming. I told them not to come. she asks why. Joon: cuz I’m not gonna film the docu. Eul: you said you would film it yesterday. Joon: it was cuz I was deceived by you -cuz I thought you would jump from the han river bridge if I didnt film the docu. Eul: I didn’t deceive you – you misunderstood. Joon: you should have let me know – Shin Joon Young -you misunderstood – I never considered committing suicide. Eul: I was going to tell you but I forgot. Joon tells her to consider the matter closed and that he wont film it.

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{Note the dog’s cute tongue hanging out a bit – so freaking adorable ^^}

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{see how great the dog’s posture is? he sat up nice and tall. he didn’t bark or interrupt the scene at all. He is a born actor and knows his cues so well.}

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Joon calls for his dog to go for exercise. she blocks him from leaving and points out how she lost a feature about juno and yubi dating cuz of him. if she sold it she would have earned two month living expenses. so he tels her to text her account number to his manager so Joon can reimburse her twice over for her two month living expenses. he pushes her out of the way but she blocks him and asks how much are you going to give me? his dog runs over and watches them. Eul: do you know how much my two month living expenses are? instead of giving me change like 300,000 won or 1,ooo,ooo won then hand over 100,000,000 won. Joon: is 100,000,000 all you need? I could give you 10,000,000,000 won if you wanted. my home too. my car too. the building too. I could give you everything I have. say what you want more. I have so much money so why ask for just 100,000,000!!  Eul: it must be nice to have money. I don’t have money to die with. cuz you have money you can look down on people and take back your promises if you want so it must be nice you jerk. she kicks him so his dog defends him and jumps on her

Joon “fireman style” carries her inside and I bet you could spot her butt in that shiny red outfit from space. he tosses her on the couch and sits.  Gook asks if Joon did this to her but Joon says that his dog barked and charged after her for tormenting his owner. Gook asks if the dog bit her but Joon says he only barked and charged her but she fainted. Gook cant believe all the dog did was bark and jump on her but she is passed out. Joon is on his way out to exercise and asks Gook to take care of her and send her on her way, but Gook is scared something is really wrong with her  cuz she looks ill. Joon walks away but Gook calls out to Joon to come back – that something is wrong with her and it doesn’t look like she is faking it. so Joon notes her rashes on her hands and neck so he makes him call his doctor.

the doctor comes and takes care of her. he says she was startled and then went into anaphylactic shock cuz Joon told him that she couldn’t breathe then fainted. based on her symptoms the doc thinks she had a severe allergic reaction to the dog so the doctor gave her shots and nothing bad will happen after tonight. Joon thanks him for coming out on his day off.  the doc says if you are grateful give my daughter an autograph. he looks at Joon and says you look healthy.  Joon: I think you misdiagnosed. for being a bother today, I wont sue.

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Joon ties his dog to a bench outside. The dog has his back to him and looks miffed cuz he doesn’t think he did anything wrong. Joon says you stay here today cuz noona is sick.  thanks for worrying about me but don’t do that anymore from here on. if you had bitten Eul you would have been chased out of my home. the dog whines. Joon asks – you got that?

Eul is passed out on his bed when she gets a call from J

J waits while Jik looks around the new home that J got from a friend who moved to another country and didn’t want to sell the place. J says Eul and jik can live there together for free and just maintain it. Jik doesnt want to stay here cuz these days Eul is trying to figure out how to mooch off people without spending money or how to make one dollar into ten thousand -her mind keeps trying to think up these outrageous dreams so if this windfall lands she will think there is no need to live properly with luck. he thanks J for worrying over him but he doesn’t like things for free. for the time being I can stay with a friend and noona can live with Nari noona. l will work part time jobs and noona will earn money and together we can earn enough for us to get a home. he gives J some bonus money he got from the mom of a kid he tutors who was grateful Jik raised her son’s grade. he tells J to buy a parka from the department store. J tries to give the money back and tells Jik to buy one cuz his is fine but Jik touches the tear on J’s jacket.  Jik points out how materialistic his noona is says how he wants J to be his brother in law but his noona doesn’t think like that cuz J is poor like them. she likes rich guys so buy new clothes with this and look like an impressive man for my sister. J gets a call and says I will be there and not be late.

J arrives dressed in a suit and his driver opens his car door for him.

choi’s wife cant believe all the food was prepared by JE, but the ajumma said JE is more than just beauty and brains. she is also a great cook. JE acts modest and says it’s nothing. choi’s wife cant believe how well JE’s mom trained her. how did you manage to prepare all this in the short time I went out. she asks what haru feels about it so Haru makes a mean comment about JE and walks out so the mom apologizes to JE but JE says her own friends say that about her too.

choi is preparing for the memorial (each family honors deceased family members on the anniversary of their death with lots of food and fruits) Haru complains to her dad that there has to be something off about JE cuz a person cant be that perfect -she has excessive wealth, studies well, has a very pretty face, a very sexy body, and has a great personality and she cooks really well too. she might not be human – she could be an alien from another star. she might go home and catch and eat snakes and roaches when the hour strikes midnight she might go to a graveyard and dig it up and open a coffin and drink blood. J scares the crap out of her by touching her shoulder just at that moment so she yells at him for scaring her. choi tells him that JE is here so J says I heard.  Choi wants J to praise JE for working hard by coming early and cooking and preparing for the grandfather’s memorial by herself. Haru still thinks something is off about JE -she acts nice and normal but she could be a psychopath or sociopath her dad calls her name in a stern tone but she lays on the charm and gains his forgiveness

J washes his face and recalls his conversation with his parents

J told his parents that he doesnt like JE and wants them to cancel the promise of marriage that was made without their consent by the elders. his mom says how JE is a good girl. but J says how can I live with a girl I dont even love or like. you and dad got married because you loved each other so much so how could you ask me to do this.  choi asks if J has another girl he is dating and J says no. I know what JE’s dad’s existence is for you father and to get what you want you will need her dad’s power, but still this is a matter where I have to live with that person together for life. it’s a matter where my whole life depends on it. Choi says I will call tm and call off the marriage. my dream is important but to a father my son is more important. no matter what in the world nothing is ahead of you in my life. choi praises the scent of the wine and asks if J chose it.

J goes into his room and JE is there so he goes over and rubs her aching shoulders for her. He praises her for all the work she did so she asks for a kiss if he is proud of her. she closes her eyes waiting for his kiss and  says you are warm but you arent hot. cuz the elders are telling us to date you are just being obedient and going along and being nice to me huh? when you don’t even love me. she opens her eyes and says it’s must be true. my pride is really hurt. as she walks off he pulls her back and says let’s skip the engagement and get married first. she asks if he loves her and he says he will never leave her as long as she doesn’t push him away. JE: you are not saying you love me till the very end. it’s ok though cuz I will just love you more. she kisses him but he looks miserable

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Joon dozed off at the foot of the bed and woke up to catch Eul eating ramen. she speaks in jeondae and says I was so hungry when I woke up. I will pay for the ramen. she switches to banmal and repeats it. since we aren’t going to work together anymore I can speak banmal right? he asks if fainting is her concept so she explains it’s cuz my health got screwed up ever since I got 3 surgeries in the past after a car accident. do you have any rice?

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as he heats up the instant rice she hesitantly asks if what he said before is still possible.  that you could give me your home, car, building, and anything I wanted. I know you wont give them to me, but I was just asking just in case. he asks what is it that you want? eul: can I say it? 100 thousand. to me that’s the most money in the world. it’s too much huh?  then 50 thousand. 30 thousand. 10 thousand. if you just give me ten thousand I wont bother you with the documentary or anything anymore ever again. I wont even show up in front of you again. if it’s a waste to just give it to me – can you lend it to me? to be paid back in 82 months. The rice is done so Joon stops staring at her with a blank look to take it out. she offers to pay it back in 60 months. you can’t even lend it to me? when you live so well like this. Joon: I cant to you. Eul retorts: then why did you tell me to speak up? they say that people who have a lot are more stingy. Joon: work and earn it. there is nothing wrong with you so why are you trying to get someone else’s money for free. Eul: there has to be work for me to earn it. cuz of you I lost a job. Joon says then let’s film the docu. she doesnt believe him and says you are starting again. Joon: let’s film the docu. he calls his agency president and says negotiate the contract for the docu again. the president says you said you didn’t want to film it. Joon: I changed my mind so I will film it. the president doesnt believe him and thinks he will change his mind again so think it over again when you wake up. Joon: I wont change my mind again.  if I change my mind again put in the contract that I will pay a penalty fee ten times over. president asks you really are going to film it?

Eul sends Ji Tae a link for sneakers so he calls her asking what this is. she says a present for getting hired. all this time my brother ate a lot of meals off of you when you didn’t have money so of course I should buy you some sneakers. J: you got hired somewhere? I thought no one would hire you in that field. Eul: I’m going to film Joon’s docu. isnt it daebak? you cant believe it huh? I have great ability though others dont know. everyone who looked down on me are all dead. J doesnt say anything cuz he is disappointed. Eul: hello? why aren’t you saying anything? she thinks he fell asleep while talking cuz it’s after 3 am and tells him to sleep well.

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Joon is building his dog a house outside. The dog still isn’t facing him so Joon asks are you sulking? It’s not like I am chasing you out forever. just think you came to a country home with clean air and  live here for just 3 months while I film the docu. you can see the clouds and sky and at night you can see the stars and moon. it’s a great place. do you want to live inside while I live here? the dog barks in agreement

Joon asks his cleaning ajumma to vacuum up the dog hair well from the carpet and wipe the floors where the dog shed cuz of someone with an allergy, but cleans everything himself

{I didn’t get to recap E1 so I never got to mention this but what is up with all these Kdramas where they think every “celebrity” featured on a show has to have these wall size photos of themselves everywhere in their homes? Is it meant as a visual testament to their humongous egos? Are the producers afraid that without these giant reminders, we might forget they are celebrities? cuz I’m pretty sure they don’t do this in real life. They would feel stupid and vain I bet. }

Eul’s former boss is extra nice to her and even bought her gong cha taro milk tea (the smoothie one tastes better though – it tastes like light purple chocolate) and goes into detail about all the extra stuff he got for her drink. she asks why he is acting like this but he just compliments her skin by saying it got better and that it paid for her to rest after working so hard. since you rested well – how about doing our work now.  he wants her to be in charge of a docu that came in . she asks if he heard rumors already that she is filming Joon’s docu. he denies hearing of it. she says that he shouldnt have fired her. he offers her double the pay and extra benefits to entice her. he gets a call and takes it outside. it was a call from J. her former boss says that Eul is in his office now and he will take responsibility and convince her (to work for him cuz J is trying to prevent Eul from working with Joon) if the boss convinces her J is going to pay off the guy buy investing

Gook and the agency president go to Joon’s home and they check out the new carpets and cushions and wonders why there are flowers there. they wonder where Joon is

Joon is inside the bathroom throwing up and dry heaving. he flushes the toilet so Gook would think he is using the toilet

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Joon is in a great deal of pain in the bathroom and narrates: I wanted to ask why now of all times. I was ok up to now- eating well – sleeping well. Eul was going to come today. I waited so long for this time. why did it have to be now? In that moment – I suddenly recalled the promise I made all those years ago –  please just save Eul -if you save Eul -I will give up all the happiness apportioned to me- I will give up all my happiness.

Eul thanks her former boss for his offer and giving her another chance but he says how he is grateful cuz he was worried she would still be peeved and not want to work for him and compliments her for not holding grudges but she smiles and says no she does and doesn’t want to work here anymore. he reminds her how much she likes money and that he offered her double plus other bonuses but she walks away reluctantly and admits  “I am tempted but if I betray him now Joon will kill me – for real – 100%

her boss calls J and apologizes for not convincing Eul cuz normally she is crazy for money. J hangs up on him midsentence

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J was there that night when Eul called choi and Joon and J overheard her conversation. J followed in his car and watched joon following her. J watched her purse getting snatched and J drove over. he also saw the white car hit her and that Joon was on the motorbike.

that’s why J was at the hospital that night. he saw Joon shaken up in the bathroom. J saw Joon’s phone when Joon left it by the sink so J saw the photo of Joon and his mom

Joon hired some guy to find out about the owner of the phone. the guy asks who is he so J says he is someone who almost killed his girlfriend to save my dad

J looks at photo of choi with Joon’s mom. the man says the guy you wanted me to find out about – his name is Shin Joon Young and I think he is your dad’s son

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Joon meets with his doctor and says congratulations – you aren’t a hack (cuz Joon now trusts the earlier diagnosis that he doesn’t have much time to live).  the doc thinks Joon’s condition is progressing faster than he imagined. Joon asks how much time do I have left to live then. 6 months? 3 months? doctor wants him to be hospitalized and start treatments like chemo and stuff even at this late stage -everything they can do but Joon interrupts and says it’s not like I wont die if I do them.  doc thinks they can extend his time though. Joon turns him down and just asks for good meds that wont make him feel pain so no one will know shin joon young has a fatal disease. if possible so that even I don’t know. if you make sure I don’t feel pain till my death I will give you a 100 autographs.

as Joon leaves Choi’s mom recognizes him and wonders what he is doing in the hospital

Joon tries to call his mom but doesn’t get through cuz she is in a meeting. he wonders why she is doing that when she isn’t going to confess

Joon’s mom makes her workers type anti stuff about Joon on the internet like how  he always pays for drinks and stuff. his mom instructs them not to type stuff like “little” or “some” because it makes him seem weak and like he doesn’t have confidence. write more stuff like “totally” so it sounds definite so people will take it at face value. the guy writes that Joon’s face is daebak big so the mom says Joon’s face isn’t that big cuz everyone outside has big faces. if the guy writes like that she worries people wont bother reading and they wont click “like”.  The mom writes about how people change channels when he comes out but the girl says the opposite so the mom doesn’t like it. just then the uncle comes over and points out they didn’t get much work done in two hours cuz they were too busy trying to lower Joon’s popularity. he accuses Man Ok of being Joon’s “anti” instead of his “code” . She brings up how wrong it was for Joon to give up the law without a word to his mom since his mom loved that he went to law school. the uncle says the mom is the biggest problem – cuz what kind of guy is choi – just cuz you turn Joon into a prosecutor and take him to choi – do you think he will even blink? you think he will say you are strong -you did well to come.  you think that guy will toss aside his family and come back to you? she shoves an onion in his mouth to shut him up. Joon’s mom points out that Joon didn’t become a celebrity cuz he wanted to -you think I don’t know that Joon did it to take the signing bonus to pay back your son’s mistakes that your son made. the uncle wonders how she knew that

when the mom steps out Man ok tells her that Joon knows his mom is doing all this anti fan stuff and isn’t suing her cuz he is afraid to meet her at the police station for her anti antics

Haru confers with Joon’s fan club about the “anti-s”and discovers that the PD for the docu is a young woman and will be hanging around him for 24 hours a day. she looks up the name and reads aloud Noh Eul. Jik overhears their conversation. Haru wants the others to find out all about Eul – her background, family, education, and stuff. Jik goes over and asks if they are talking about Nol PD so she asks if he knows her. he says he does. she asks how he knows Eul -are you by any chance her boyfriend. Jik says I am a part time worker so I cant talk long but if you give me your number I will call you after work. she asks if he isnt lying. Jik: never mind if you don’t believe me. Haru hands over her phone so he can punch his number in and she warns him not to mess with her number cuz her dad is a famous prosecutor. she asks for his name so he lies his name is Oh Jik and he asks for her name so she says choi Haru

Eul is reading aloud about the objective of the docu – it’s a campaign to help people who want to commit suicide -they are going to use bucket lists to teach how to live properly -to give them objectives and goals (to live for) so that they can enjoy life and think of life as precious.  Joon stops her and asks for the lights. he says I cant understand at all so can you tell me simply. she says I did say it simply. Joon: it’s cuz I am ignorant. she  practically gives a speech and says “it’s simple. cuz living is hard – to people who don’t want to live anymore – not to do that – no matter what you have to do – to live  – no matter what don’t ever die – through your bucket list – we just need to say those things. no matter what curveballs the world throws at you there is a path for you to live -that life is beautiful – like a gift from God – have hope and have courage…” he stands up before she finishes.  Joon looks upset saying this isnt the concept (for the docu) he was told about. his agency president replies that they did and Joon was given the informative paperwork for it.  Joon walks out

Joon sits on the floor in the bathroom

his agency president is worried Joon wont film the docu cuz it will be the end for the president then. Gook says how there will be an all out war between Joon and Eul if Joon backs out

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the crew places bets that Joon changed his mind again. all bets are on Joon so Eul says I will try to convince him. Joon comes back and smiles and says let’s start filming

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Eul films him and she asks what is the first thing on your bucket list. pretend you are going to die a year later. what would you want to do first. go somewhere, do something, want to meet someone. don’t you have anything like that? if you were going to die a year later – if you only had a year left -isn’t there anything you want to do or see…he cuts her off saying “a year is too long let’s say I only have 3 months left. she agrees and says let’s say you only have 3 months left. Joon: I will live recklessly. beat up guys I don’t like – kill anyone that I don’t care for. she says that’s not the objective of this docu.  through the bucket list we will show how precious life is and beautiful. he interrupts and says -until the end, I will seduce girls and switch girls every day and sleep with them.

There is a call to stop but Joon says to keep going. so she gets mad and says is the show a joke?

joon: it’s not a joke. I was speaking the truth.  if I am going to die soon what is there I cant do.

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she lists other things he could do but Joon looks at her seriously and asks want to date me Noh PDnim? let’s pretend I will die in 3 months – will you date me passionately for just 3 months?

she is speechless

end

preview:

Eul asks it’s ok if I put on SNS that I am dating shin Joon young right?

Haru screams when she finds out

later Haru throws water at Eul and calls her a vixen

J wipe her face as Eul asks can you give me a job as your wife?

Joon asks J over the phone – are you by any chance her husband?

J asks Eul = am I your husband?

Jik tells Eul that he wishes things turn out well for J and Eul (as in he hopes they date) and for her not to fall for Joon

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Suffering pain alone is the absolute worst – you can’t call out for help cuz you’ve already accepted the fact that it has to be endured alone – you are scared that you could die any minute and panicked cuz you didn’t get to do everything you wanted yet – you pray for more time – more seconds you don’t have -just one more chance to survive this moment – just one more breath to survive till the next minute. You try to distract yourself with other thoughts – good or bad it doesn’t matter as long as you don’t have to be aware of your own helplessness in this moment. by some miracle if you make it through this hurdle- you make a solemn promise to endure it better next time and face it bravely – all the while knowing you wont keep that promise cuz this disease was never yours to control or compromise with.

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It was gut wrenching to hear Eul’s speech about not giving up on life cuz every word she said struck a blow in Joon’s heart. The clear distinction was that people who consider suicide still have a choice, but people like Joon do not. Choice was never part of the equation. I bet he never felt so alone cuz no one except for his doctor knows he is dying. It’s one thing to be told you should have hope and courage when you are facing a death sentence you never asked for or even deserve, but it’s another story when you are still grappling with disbelief and denial that this is actually happening to you. Joon Young’s mind, heart, spirit, and body can’t process words like hope right now cuz the only words he is quickly becoming familiar with are desperation and pain. When he first learned of his diagnosis, there was still room for errors. Now that he is actually experiencing acute pain and discomfort, he is quickly learning what a juggernaut his disease can become. It damages from the inside and destroys everything in it’s path and wake. When you are struggling with all that and all you can hear is a loud ticking clock, her words about having courage just doesn’t ring as loudly for him. Joon Young is going to hold onto what he sees now in front of him and that’s desperation. I bet he is going to cling to it and use it to set things right before he dies. He no longer has the luxury of time so he is going to act quickly and set everything in motion to make amends and live fully -beginning with Eul and showing her and himself how precious life can be even within a short amount of time.

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21 comments on “Uncontrollably Fond: E4

  1. afufu bing says:

    Thank you very much for your hard work! It’s really lovely to see you live recapping again.

    Like

  2. I am so happy that you are back! Thank you for all your hard work!

    Like

  3. Iviih says:

    Softyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!! Can’t believe you are back!! Haha I had a feeling you would be loving this drama, and here is it!!! :)))

    So happy that you are back and recapping this drama!

    I forgot how to make headers too, or else I would make pretty one for you :(((

    Whta you were doing all this time? just working?

    Kisses :))

    Like

  4. Thank you so much for your hard work 🙂 i know i said it before: Finally you are back ❤

    Like

  5. An-naum says:

    Omg..u r back! It’s been so long havent heard from u. I used to read ur live recap beforethis. I’m glad u r back. Gone are the days when i was blogging myself bcoz my life is boring n no fun. My career has overtake my life. But, who cares anyway! Let’s just love the kdrama as to enjoy life!

    Like

  6. chiki_k says:

    I’ve been a lurker on your website all this while in hopes that you’ll be recapping a drama that I was watching. It feels so good to see that you’re back! 😀

    Thanks for the superdetailed recap & commentaries!

    Like

    • Softy says:

      Thanks for delurking. 🙂 So sorry I don’t recap a variety of dramas like I used to – I did 2 or 3 shows a week in the past but I don’t have the time or energy anymore to even watch another one besides this. I forgot how much work translating can be. 🙂

      Like

  7. iviih says:

    Softy I made two headers, hope you like 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Softy says:

      I love love love love them 🙂 thank you sooooooooo much 🙂
      I got rid of a lot of my old ones and had to click a million times, but your new gorgeous headers came up 🙂

      Like

  8. chokichoki says:

    OMG! My instinct was right. When I watched ep 4 last night I immediately thought of you Softy and it felt as though God answered my prayer. I’m so elated that you’re back and that you’re recapping UF! Major love for this one.

    Can’t wait to camp here next Wednesday and Thursday!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. nonski says:

    OMG! (i don’t want to say the same expression but i can’t help it!) i opened my gmail and saw the notification. i am so happy you’re back and that you’re enjoying recapping this. I hope you are doing fine. i haven’t totally started with this, just scanning, i don’t want to get totallly addicted yet. i am not with Doctors. i hope you’re watching it too, it’s awesome. i get to smile the whole time i am watching. and i am totally loving my new baby… Yoon Kyun Sang. gosh here i am blabbering again. i am just so happy to see you back here again. anyways on UF… well suzy is totally way behind woob on acting but i have a special place in my heart for her due to Dream HIgh. And Woob he is really rocking his role here, he has improved so much and it’s really good watching him.

    😦 i think with this you won’t be able to recap sukkie’s upcoming drama W? i am highly anticipating that one.

    glad to be back with friends here @Iviih and @chokichoki 🙂 hope you guys are doing great!

    Like

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