This guy does vulnerability better than anyone. Forget his novels – he could teach how to make women weak in the knees just by gazing into her eyes and holding her hand. His whole expression is a wide open book – so she can read and determine for herself if his love is trustworthy or not to pursue. HS doesn’t know it yet, but this was the moment when she let down her guard -not when she admitted to Jo that JY’s kiss got to her. There were a lot of breakthrough moments in this episode, but this one was by far my favorite one. It didn’t need any dialogue – just a look and an understanding between these two that something amazing has begun between them.
Written before it aired:
The preview shows that she didn’t react well to the kiss again, though I doubt he got slapped this time. *updated: actually he did but it was a really light one this time* HS keeps thinking he is making advances, but she doesn’t get that his actions are stemming from a place of intense emotions. Feelings that are new even to him. I don’t think he has ever taken a relationship this seriously before. He probably kept his other ones casual and on the surface so he could walk away at any given time, but with HS she is drawing him closer. Just watching her laughing and playing like a kid in the water was enough to make him feel so much that he does what comes so naturally to him – he drew her close and kissed her. She took an active part in that kiss so this isn’t all on him this time. Maybe that’s what she was so afraid of. She still isn’t sure she can trust him with his player background so I doubt she wants to entrust her heart to him so soon, but like JY said, if she dates him, she might get to know all his charms. Instead of stepping back and away from her growing feelings, maybe it’s time for her to progress and take one step forward and meet him half way again.
Jae Yeol = JY
Hae Soo = HS
Soo Kwang = SK
“sunbae” Jo Dong Min = Jo
Kang Woo = KW
Oh Son Yeo, the teenage girl = SY
Jae Bum (JY’s older brother) = JB
Tae Yong JY’s manager, backstabbing friend, or member of his editing team = T
Starts from them splashing around and then the kiss. she pulls away and lightly slaps him. she hits the water on her way out. as she walks away, her heart is racing so she takes some deep breaths. He says let’s go down to the city and buy clothes cuz it feels uncomfortable to wear wet clothes. she says why buy clothes when we can just dry them. he asks himself – is that what they call anxiety disorder? (cuz she didn’t kiss like she suffered from it)
JB is on the phone with some hyung about his leave on friday making plans and mentions amytal and an interview. when he is off the phone he talks to another inmate about a favor JB asked of him. the guy said I already told everyone on the outside about your favor.
Jo is yelling at T cuz T said JB was a good kid. Jo shows him JB’s record and says do this lie? he lists a few of the 6 offenses JB committed like assault and others. T tries to defend JB saying it’s really unfair – that one girl was someone he dated but she lied out of anger after they broke up. Jo shows the photo of JY when he was 16 and bruised and battered and says then how are you going to explain this.
HS walks ahead so JY yells out to go together but HS says why go together – when were we close? JY grins and follows.
Jo lists all the injuries 16 yr old JY suffered like broken ribs and how he was half dead. he was hurt so much his mom called the police. JB killed his stepfather but said his younger brother killed him. JB doesn’t even have an ounce of remorse. Jo thinks the best place for JB is the prison. Jo points to the kids playing and says how JB is different from them cuz those kids are trying to live well. T says you are right. there is no hope for JB. even if he comes out now he keeps saying he will kill JY but his mom who believes in JB even though he is like that -cant give up. I think I will go crazy too. Jo remembers JY’s mom and how she thanked him
HS is still trying to recover from the kiss. JY is changing into a new outfit and asks what she is doing. he told her to buy new clothes and wear it so why stand there. he asks the clerk where clothes for women are.
they walk out in new outfits but HS is grumbling about how she said she didn’t want to but he made her get new clothes and strange he is. she offers to pay him back in seoul. but he says i dont take money from a woman i kissed. is it weird not to take money from a woman I kissed? taking the money is weird. HS says then don’t kiss. a while ago you did it unilaterally. he repeats that in disbelief. One sided? HS: then was it two sided? he doesn’t let her get in the car and says you said you had anxiety disorder. if your reaction is like this to that then I will understand. HS: anxiety disorder and this situation have nothing to do with each other. was I taken back? in that situation anyone would be taken back. wouldn’t they? I was having fun in the water but you suddenly kissed me – not once but twice. JY: the second time you didn’t dislike it. like me. HS: if I said I didn’t like it then I didn’t. is only what you are thinking correct? don’t I have a right to think? JY: not what you think – how about what you feel. HS: I didn’t like it. I will clearly say it but I don’t like you. making advances on just anyone. JY: not to anyone but to the person I feel something for – not just for the heck of it but in that moment at least – honestly/sincerely -it wasn’t making advances – I liked you so I kissed you. HS: you like me? be honest Jang JY. a while ago you were caught up in it – the weather was nice -you were in a good mood-and just did it without thinking. he admits to it so she is surprised he is admitting it. he asks then do you like a guy who makes plans to kiss. thinking it through – calculating and planning at which point this woman will fall for me. she says never mind and tries to get in the car but he shuts it and says date me. should I give you time to think it over. she says no – don’t need it. he says fine. never mind/forget it. he makes her ride up front cuz he is not her driver. she warns him for the last time not to do what he did at the pond again. he says he wont ever do it again. don’t worry. HS: thanks for ending it quickly
SY asks SK to buy her food. he says how she cant freeload off of him and to forget that at one time he was good to her. during all this time he was looked down on by her and got his money taken away by her. now i came to my senses. JY said if I wanted I could use you at the café as a part time worker but I wont do that- why? cuz I came to my senses now. she offers him ramen at her home and tells him to follow. I will make ramen for your sake. don’t regret and follow. hurry. SK does and says I’m not following you cuz I like you it’s cuz I wasted so much money on you so I am getting ramen out of it at least to ease my resentment. dont misunderstand that it’s cuz I like you
JY comes home and says I arrived. Jo puts away JB’s paperwork and says -now you came? have you eaten? JY doesn’t feel like eating. HS offers to make JY ramen. JY doesn’t reply so she asks are you getting mad cuz I spoke to you? should I not talk to you? SK asks what is up with the mood between you two? Jo asks what is going on between you two -you were getting along yesterday so why is it so cold suddenly. did something happen overnight between you two. tell me. did you fight? JY: it’s nothing. SK asks her what is wrong with JY? HS tells them to be understanding. that guy kissed me today and got slapped. JY says it’s true. HS says how cool he is for admitting. JY: what is there not to admit to. it’s true what happened. I felt good so I kissed her. during the moment of the kiss she was fine, but not now. she makes some snide remarks so JY asks her- did you really not feel anything? awhile ago the feeling we both felt. was it really something that just happened? she tells him to stop. but Jo and SK want to hear her answer and Jo says why stop. he tells JY to keep questioning her. what are you two? SK says I will be so curious if we leave it like this I wont be able to sleep. he tells JY to keep asking her. JY asks did you really not feel anything. she denies it again and says even if you ask ten times the answer is no. he leaves the room so she yells about his lack of manners. you were the one who did something wrong so why get pissy. she throws down her apron saying she doesnt feel like eating ramen anymore. SK tells her to act like herself and keep fighting. SK tells Jo she isn’t acting like herself. there is something there.
Jo knocks on her door but she says I am going to wash up so go. Jo keeps knocking. SK says you will break down the door. JY tells him to keep it down cuz it’s too loud “let’s live quietly” but Jo yells shut up. I have something to say with her. HS is like my real younger sister. just cuz you are the owner – is that all? JY slams the door shut. she opens the door for Jo and tells him to come in. he tells SK to go and goes in alone. SK listens at the door
HS tries to downplay what happened and says it wasn’t that terrible. Jo gets to the point and asks you felt something for JY didnt you? she asks why are you like this too. he tells her not to deflect and act like a pro – look at me. what is it that you want to protect? that anxiety that you’ve been wanting to chase away all your life? I am talking not as your sunbae but as a doctor and your supervisor. when you kissed JY did you think of your mom or not? did you or not? she says I didn’t. Jo: it’s the first time then. you did each time you kissed Choi. did you like the feeling or not? HS says i didn’t dislike it. he says don’t be vague -speak clearly if you liked it or not. she says I liked it. but I dont know – I’m overwhelmed by these emotions. and I cant understand – why did I have to have these feelings with that dog player of all people. Jo tells her to sleep and goes out.
SK is outside and heard. he says I almost cried. when she said she didnt think of her mom when she kissed and when she admitted she liked it. Jo: you were really envious huh? SK admits he wants to be free of his condition too. he just wants to not have a spell even once when he kisses a woman and sleeps with her. how nice would that be
JY remembers running hand in hand with HS and then kissing her. the alarm rings. he goes and lights her candle before her. she watches from her door. he says It was cuz your alarm sound was loud. he walks away
*I bet he lit that candle cuz he needs to believe in love just as much as her.
out on the lawn, Jo explains “a mom’s affair – that her kid saw that – it’s a bigger scar than you think. starting from then – love- kiss -sex were betrayals and it became an anxiety – her being prickly behavior towards you – it’s not cuz she doesn’t like you-it’s a reaction that stems from her pain. JY: I will keep that in mind. Jo: for me to go this far and tell you about HS – if your feelings for HS is not real/genuine – don’t play around with her. the way you look -you could be misunderstood – like a dog player – like me when I was younger. JY cant help but grin. HS comes over and says Jo cant keep secrets. she takes JY’s water and drinks from his glass. Jo walks away muttering didn’t you know that. HS finally owns up and admits to JY ” I felt a little something for you yesterday but it was the end of it at that moment. I don’t plan to go any further. you are a pro so you understand right? JY: knock on my door 3 times or ring my phone 3 times. if you have any desire to progress/continue with me – just do that. if you don’t like me then dont do anything at all like now. he takes back his glass and drinks from it and walks off. she mutters what is that guy. Jo yells – did you know your temper is a problem rather than your disorder? he lectures how a patient needs will to fix their condition – you are a doctor so how could you tell your patient to have will (when you don’t)?
HS and the doctors talk about their patient – the one HS brought in. the man thinks cancer is in his arm. (that’s why he tried to cut it off. HS says he has depression
Lee asks HS to attend the party to celebrate her and Jo’s divorce anniversary. HS tells her to just have that with Jo so Lee says I really wish I could
JY meets with his mom and she asks do you really not hate seeing your older brother? JY: if you like it I like anything. his mom says you are so nice. he asks do you like hyung coming? his mom says of course I do. he is in a terrible place and gets to come out for a short time. JY says to spend a lot of money and make JB’s leave really elaborate/lavish. JY gets called in so he tells his mom to call when JB comes out. he kisses her and leaves.
Jo thinks JB must have had a lot of stress if his hair turned white to that extent. he calls T and wants him to bring JB over. he wants to meet JB and then decide if it’s good for him to meet his family or not
in the car KW thinks HS is wrestling – doing the push and pull of love with JY. he advises JY not to chase after a woman who doesn’t like him and go after another woman. JY says the problem is she doesn’t hate me that much. she really has charm. KW asks does it feel like your soul will be stolen? like my Hyun joo. JY asks about the girl KW likes HJ. KW: not well – I am going to focus on my writing. JY asks if KW is still looking at her face in front of her house these days. KW says she gets prettier the more I see her/the more times goes by. JY looks at his fingers and asks dont you need to go to the hospital. it looks like your finger is weird. KW says it’s ok. if it really hurts I will tell you. they almost get into an accident cuz JY drives against traffic. but he blames the other drivers for going the wrong way saying they are being dangerous. KW says they are doing it again. JY tells KW not to ride his bike here cuz it’s dangerous and he might get into an accident.
JY drops off KW at his countryside home. JY asks which home so KW points it out to him. from his car JY yells for him to write diligently. next time we meet let’s eat something delicious. the kid yells for JY to meet with JB well and this time to reconcile.
suddenly they hear a woman screaming for help. KW runs over to his mom. JY watches the kid’s mom being beaten up by her husband. KW tries to stop it and tells his dad not to do that. the dad knocks the kid down. JY runs over and tries to help the kid’s mom by beating up the dad. JY gets knocked away. something falls out of his pocket. as the dad beats the mom, JY flashes back to that day when JB was being beaten by the stepdad. as KW gets ready to hit the man with a rock, JY remembers when he was young and grabbed a knife as his stepdad beat JB. JY makes KW drop the rock and says come to your senses and slaps KW. he tells him to take his mom and run. CCTV caught it. JY punches the man and gets beaten up. he remembers as a kid when his mom protected him and got beaten instead. he gets up and beats up the man
HS mutters that JY has no luck. she made rice properly but he doesn’t get to eat it. she tells the guys to call JY (cuz it’s after 9pm). but SK tells her to do it. let the bell ring 3 times. Jo offers to call and let it ring 3 times for her. she warns them not to do that. SK tried to imitate JY’s looks so HS grins and asks why he looks like that. Jo says it’s his concept to be a copy of JY. why didn’t you just go to the hospital and fix your face, hair, and shorten your legs to match his height. you have no self esteem. SK says it’s dropping cuz of this family. couldn’t you lie and say I look cool? Jo: I have eyes too and in my eyes you are like a fly. but HS says I like you better than that player JY. no matter who sees you are hundreds of times better. she hears them whispering and says I wont get involved with JY. She says how she protected her purity and wont give it to that player. Jo says don’t give it to him and just pack up your purity and take it with you all the way to the afterlife. if you don’t I will….but she says I will do that.
Jo is at the police station. the cop says that home is empty but JY says that home is not empty -there is a male kid, his mom, and his abusive dad who all live in that home. JY gets down the two cops names to check whether or not they handled this case well. let’s get in touch again. he walks off and the cops wonder if someone really does live in that empty home
JY goes home and HS offers him food but then she asks what happened to his face when she sees his bloody cuts. He goes in and as she knocks he is trying to change. she tells him to open the door. he opens the door and reminds her our signal was supposed to be knock 3 times so what does knocking 7 or 8 times mean. she looks at his cuts and walks off to get the first aid kit.
he is in his bathroom and she got the medical kit and tells him to come out but he doesnt so she goes in. she makes him turn around so she can treat his wounds saying it will scar. he says it’s ok -go to your room. but she says if you didn’t want to be treated you shouldn’t have shown a doctor this state you’re in. what happened. JY explains a kid I know got beaten by his dad – his name is KW and I favor him. I couldn’t stand watching him being beaten by his dad. she asks why get involved in someone else’s family. he says that’s what other people said when my mom and I were being beaten by my stepdad – cuz it’s between someone else’s family -no one got involved so the result was our family was the loudest in the world and major things happened. it’s the first time I’m in my bathroom with a woman and talking like this about me is something I’m not really familiar with too, but it’s comfortable since there is nothing to hide. she asks about the scar on his shoulder and why he didn’t get it treated. he says i showed you how i sleep in the bathroom and I was very honest/sincere at the pond. she touches his face checking for bruises so he holds her hand and they look at each other sharing a moment. she pulls her hand away and packs up. he opens his shower curtain. there are books and artwork in there and a blanket and pillow in the tub. she takes in everything and sees how his back is turned to her. she tells him to sleep and walks away but he starts talking and asks “do you know what this camel painting is? at night the camel is tied up to a tree like this by nomadic people. then untied in the morning as you can see. but the camel doesn’t run away cuz it remembered all night it was tied to the tree. like the way we remember the pain of the past. the pain of the past – the trauma -in reality it means it holds onto our ankle. me the bathroom and you your anxiety. go. as you know this is my bedroom.” she tells him to sleep right away. after she leaves he gets in his tub. she stares at his empty bed and walks out.
in her bed she watches her video of him keeping vigil by her bedside while she sleeps and keeps thinking about that moment in the bathroom when he held her hand and they looked into each other’s eyes. she turns out the lights and tries to sleep.
the guys make food and Jo yells at SK for putting in so many cans just cuz he likes it. though JY heard of a divorce party it’s his first time hearing of a party for a divorce anniversary (it’s for Jo and Lee’s broken marriage). Jo says unless we do this I don’t meet Lee that much. she doesn’t have friends so I should play with her. it would be nice if she just got married. JY asks if SY is doing well at the café but SK snaps it’s her first day at work so how do I know. he feels bad and says I will call you hyung so be patient about my annoyance. I will really call you hyung so don’t mess with me. it’s cuz I don’t feel good – I don’t think it will work with SY so that’s why I feel so irritable. I will call you hyung so listen to my problems like this. JY says that hair and clothes suit you well so SK is pleased. SK: I wont say that I love you but you know how my heart feels right? they both grin over that.
at the picnic party HS’s mom drinks beer and wins money at the game and kisses her husband saying your wife earned money. Lee gets up and leaves so HS tells Jo to go after her. HW wants to go but her mom wants to stick around cuz there is so much food left. JY is taking care of the baby and asks if he can take a walk with HS’s dad. she says we are going to leave soon so why take a walk. her sister says we would be so grateful and her husband compliments JY in banmal so HS calls him out on it pointing out they didn’t meet enough to do that but her mom says how JY told them to do that. she keeps drinking beer so HS tells her to stop. but the mom says I don’t want to – I’m gonna drink more
Lee asks if Jo hates meeting alone just the two of them. is that why you called everyone? if you don’t like meeting me then let’s stop having the divorce anniversary party with today. he says she is being too much – is it worth getting that angry over calling HS’s mom. HS’s mom always has to stay at the store or at home if it’s not for stuff like this. she is still peeved that she has to see HS’s dad and stuff on a day like this but Jo says even if the two of them meet they have nothing to say so she says I don’t like you. Jo: that’s why we got divorced. what is the problem. she leaves muttering the problem is I still have feelings that’s what. Jo wonders why she just gets mad each time she sees him
JY plays with the baby and takes care of HS’s dad at the same time while HS’s sis takes pics. the mom asks HS if she really doesn’t have feelings for JY. HS tells her to stop. her mom says to be honest you like him too dont you. if you dont like someone like him then who would you like. you are playing hard to get right. tell me. HS yells stop it and walks off. her mom asks why do you always get annoyed with me. the sister tries to get the mom to stop and leave but the mom keeps yelling after HS asking are you the only one earning money I do too. not just once or twice but every time she sees her mom she gets annoyed. when you were a student you were irritable cuz you had to study. after you grew up – cuz you are a doctor and your tired so you got irritable. you think I dont get annoyed while watching over your dad so that’s why I don’t you brat. just cuz you earn money and got me the store. living like this – it’s really hard for me. HS’s sister tells her mom to stop and finally just admits it – HS and I know about your relationship with Kim. that is why HS is like that – got that? her mom is shocked.
at the house HS asks what it was like for JY to see how her family is. he says you don’t know but your family is mediocre. when I see comfortable kids with well to do families I get annoyed. she says why get annoyed -shouldn’t you be envious. he shares how he once dated a girl from a really well to do family. how she got along with her parents too. HS guesses she was cheerful and optimistic. JY says yes. but that’s when I knew – cuz she was so optimistic it was really boring. a person needs to know the taste of bitter and sweet in life to grow and make dating fun. just knowing sweet – there really isn’t any appeal/charm in that. HS admits – if only you werent a dog player – it’s not like I don’t have any feelings for you at all. you have humor, prosperous, your looks are okay too, there is a slight feeling for you too, but you are too much of a dog player. it’s not the time for me to date for fun – too dangerous for me to date at 30. he says date me and then talk – after dating you will really be surprised by my charm. she spits up her beer from laughter. he plays a song for her and says to listen then leave the phone by his room. before he leaves he even gives her Kleenex to wipe her spit up. (the manners on this guy)
HS injects her patient (the woman who keeps acting like her baby is still alive) with amytal to conduct the interview
JB drives up with T and meets up with some guy. the man hands him something and asks why JB needs it but JB just says let’s meet later. T asks what that was and who is that person but JB doesnt tell him and just takes the phone he can use and tells T to go to JB’s mom’s home. JB wants to meet Jo and take the cab. JB asks where JY lives
HS asks her patient – do you remember the night of the baby’s accident. the woman calls her husband names and says my husband. while I was at the market the baby was burning up. he was drunk and asleep and didnt even know the baby was dying and just kept sleeping. HS: you must have been so upset. the woman says I want to kill him. why did he have to drink and not know his child was dying. I really want to die. what am I? I’m the mother but didn’t knowing my baby was dying. why did I go to the market. I’m the scary mom. HS takes her hand and says trust your baby went somewhere nice.
Jo goes and brings the IV over to inject JB. JB says I am thirsty so Jo gets up to get him some but JB kicks him and grabs for the amytal. Jo takes it away. JB asks for water then coffee. I will take the shot after drinking that. Jo tells him to wait and he will bring it. while Jo is gone JB takes off. Jo realizes he was duped
doctors talk about how that mom patient remembers clearly that she lost her baby. the parents will have a hard time for a while. Lee says they have love and us. doc asks what HS said to the husband. HS: that his wife feels very sorry for going to the market. that she loves him. the doc asks did you tell him she resents him? Lee thinks there is no need to tell a truth that will light a fire. doc wonders if those people can overcome this misfortune. HS says of course cuz love will give the strength to overcome misfortune. she remembers how JY said: it will probably also give anguish, resentment, pain, sadness, despair, and misfortune but the strength to overcome/conquer those things -it will give double. it has to be that much to be love. she tells the docs to go so they are going to confess their love and another says love is expressing it. HS smiles and calls JY but Lee interrupts and asks to have dinner. HS says no I think i will have an appointment today.
JY finishes up his radio show. he sees that HS called. he wonders did the phone ring twice or 3 times. she calls again and he waits. she hangs up at 3. he looks at his phone and gets her text. did you hear that I let it ring 3 times. I am taking the bus to go home now. he is grinning just like her. he rushes out of the station and goes to a cab to get home faster.
JB saw JY leave and follows in his cab.
HS gets off the bus and waits at the bus stop for JY. He pulls up in his cab and looks at her across the street. he tries to wave to get her attention but she didnt see him. suddenly his brother hits JY in the back and stabs the needle into him filling him with that truth serum.
Reaction to the episode:
It took that simple dialogue in the bathroom about the camels and how our past trauma anchors us in place and keeps us from moving on to remind me just how much I love this writer. She makes watching dramas such a privilege. That’s when I realized tonight that JY’s love for HS is going to finally take him out of that bathroom. He has been sleeping in there cuz he feels the safest, but once he realizes being in her arms is way better, he is finally going to let go of that one habit. I used to think his love would heal her, but now I’m beginning to think he has way more healing to do than her. Not to lessen her fear of intimacy condition, but he has far more pressing issues than her. The fact that he drove against traffic and didn’t even realize it was his fault frightened me. Then when he got into that fight with that imaginary father, I was even more alarmed. It’s bad enough he imagined KW but now JY is fighting KW’s battles and his dad as well. I hope he has some of that indomitable spirit left for a few more skirmishes. I bet his love for her is going to make JY fight through all his disorders and leave them behind.
Part of me can’t help but wonder if the reason why JY opens up so easily with HS is due to her occupation. If she hadn’t been a therapist, would he have shared so much so soon?
And the other thing that has been bothering me is if JB knew how much JY has been suffering in his own way through the years, could he learn to forgive his younger brother and mother? JY paid the price too for being there when their stepfather died, but he just didn’t go to prison. He made his own, complete with an imaginary version of himself. Unlike what JB keeps accusing JY of, JY didn’t lead an easy successful life. His social life and image might be intact, but the young boy who had to endure such a traumatic event never quite moved on mentally and emotionally. If anything he has been reliving that nightmare day over and over in his dreams. By enduring all these years, not dealing with his own psychosis, and clueless to how much of an extent he really needs help, has JY earned any amount of reprieve from JB. I don’t know why, but part of me wishes it was the mother who shoved that stepdad into the knife JY was holding. I also hope the weight of his stepdad falling on him pushed JY back and it was JB who kept stabbing the stepdad more and then pulling out the knife the way JY saw. That way one person can’t be blamed and the least guilty of all is JY.