I hate to point out the obvious, but HS is already close to achieving real intimacy with JY. They are spending more time together learning about each other’s fallacies – not holding back and revealing more with each new personal info they confide. That in itself is a form of intimacy that leads to the physical. They have already kissed before, but now she is starting to feel something in his kisses. That weakness in the knee and her heart racing is signaling her so all she has to do is be willing to listen and give into those new feelings and keep getting lost in his embraces.
Written before it aired:
Loving this stage of their romance when they aren’t fully committed to their feelings yet, but have begun the process of falling for each other. Hearts are fluttering, but still clinging hopelessly to denial. Thoughts keep drifting to the other person, yet each one tries to keep up the semblance of control that is slipping away with each interaction. With shared moments like this, something tells me we won’t have to wait long to see these two fully devoted to each other. I love how quickly their attraction is growing cuz I feel like things will come to a head pretty soon and HS will discover JY’s condition. As a writer, eloquence comes naturally for JY, but a moment will come when he is left speechless. Once his perfectly crafted façade comes tumbling down and he has to face reality, I hope he has HS’s hand to grip in that moment of panic and confusion so that she can be his new lifeline on his road to healing.
*I love how JY’s honesty and openness unnerves her. It’s like she is expecting him to hide behind a wall of pride, but is constantly surprised to discover he has no use for them. This is how he has been hurt by women so often. He trusts even when there is no basis to, but doesn’t resent them for betraying that faith.
**These characters talk so fast I get verbal whiplash, but I caught most of it. Not so rusty after all from not recapping for months. 🙂
After watching E3, I finally realized the title of this drama will end up explaining how a lot of these characters feel. It’s not just what JY will say to help HS cope with her condition and justify why physical intimacy is okay cuz it applies to almost every character – even the patients. Everyone’s actions are based on love. It’s a pretty universal phrase that can be used to justify so many of our actions.
Everyone has their theories about what is going on with JY and KW, but the only emotion I had watching that last scene of E4 as JY was running down the street alone was genuine concern for JY’s mental and emotional state. Though it’s apparent that KW is a figment of JY’s subconscious and an extension of his past trauma (more than likely a way for him to cope with all that he has gone through), I’m flabbergasted how well he has been able to hide the fact that KW is not real. I can’t help but wonder if a part of JY realized that KW is a manifestation of his guilt – a way to justify his actions since he is living free while his older brother is incarcerated. Not the fact that he might feel responsible for killing his stepfather, but for laying the blame on his older brother and being free while his brother suffers in prison. Maybe that’s why JY didn’t want to press charges after his brother attacked him. JY probably feels like JB has every right to attack him.
I think the scene that really got to me was when JY hugged KW so fiercely as KW admitted he hit his father back this time without fear- he stood up to him like a man. Maybe if JY can stand up to his abusive stepfather in his subconscious, he thinks it’s his chance to do things over. As KW, he makes bold decisions and gets to be more courageous with each confrontation with his stepdad. Being KW enables JY to do things over – even if it’s just in his mind, so that the conclusion doesn’t end up the same and he doesn’t kill his stepfather. Maybe that’s why he hugged KW like that – what appeared to be a triumphant moment for KW ended up being only JY’s. JY was so proud of KW, but it wasn’t till the end of episode 4 that I realized JY was emotional cuz it’s what he wanted to do at that age. His words sounded like justification for what happened the night the stepfather died. JY kept telling KW – “you didn’t hit your father – it was self defense. it was self defense.” I bet those words were repeated often over the years, but I wonder how many times he actually believed every word.
I just wanted to add, one fact remains indisputable. Someone pushed the stepdad into the knife JY was holding. I don’t think you can hold JY solely accountable since it looked unintentional. The confusing factor is why JY’s mom chose one son over the other. Even if it came from a place of love for JY, the decision to let her older son pay for the crime the younger son committed was wrong. She saw what her younger son did to his stepfather, but on the stand she didn’t speak up in her older son’s defense and let him take the fall for killing his stepfather. Just those few scenes alone doesn’t give us the complete picture, but it clearly looked like the stepfather was pushed onto that knife – we don’t know who pushed him though. That fact aside, couldn’t JY just claimed self defense in killing the stepfather and get a lighter sentence for being an underage victim of abuse. The precedence was there – bruises and other evidence of physical abuse that led up to the death of the perpetrator. It’s not likely to be premeditated or planned out in advance. The kid looked like he was holding the knife and someone pushed the father so couldn’t the death have been ruled accidental?
During the live recap, I might shorten these abbreviations to single letters, but for now these are the initials I will be using:
Jae Yeol = JY
Hae Soo = HS
Soo Kwang = SK
“sunbae” Jo Dong Min = Jo
Kang Woo = KW
Oh Son Yeo, the teenage girl = SY
Jae Bum (JY’s older brother) = JB
Starts with JY and KW running together as JY says to KW “that girl knows your name for sure.”
HS watches the video of JY sitting by her side as she sleeps.
JB begs Jo to give the truth serum amytal to his younger brother and mom when he gets out of here. that truth medicine – please promise – doctor I am asking this favor – promise hyungnim. I am really a good kid. i just look like this (tough) -I worked ever since I was 15 and earned money. I am really a good kid. others say I am a monster who is laying all the blame on his younger brother but I am really a good kid. my younger brother looks kind but he is a really bad kid. He keeps begging Jo save me.
Jo walks out and asks the guard to send him all the case info about JB ever since he was a teen, including the case involving his stepfather and the case regarding his younger brother. the guard says ok.
KW stops running cuz he is coughing. JY asks is it a cold? KW says I don’t know – I just cough. JY checks KW’s fingers wondering why it’s like that (it’s swollen). suddenly that girl student says hi to JY and KW disappears. JY calls out for KW
HS watches the video and wonders aloud – what is this? did Jang JY sleep in his bathroom?
HS hears the door and goes to welcome JY but it’s Jo. Jo says suddenly I feel sorry that it’s me. HS: what does that mean? Jo mimics her and says how her eyes looked disappointed it’s him. is Jang JY not home yet? HS denies it and tells him not to forget Yoon Chul’s concert tm.
the girl asks who JY was talking to. JY says a friend. the girl says but you were alone. they walk to his home and he asks arent you leaving. the girl asks to spend just one night since his home is spacious (she cant get into her house sometimes till early in the morning or for days cuz her dad is gone and she doesn’t have a key. her mom just drops by sometimes to give her money since her mom left home when the girl was 3 so no one is at home). She gives her name as Oh Sun Y. JY gives her cash to pay the locksmith but she claims she will buy smokes with it so he relents and takes his money back. he says to come in and just sleep quietly in the living room and go out in the morning.
JY goes inside and HS asks did you arrive and grins. he wonders why she is smiling. is she going to pick a fight this time with a smile? HS: what picking a fight? can’t I smile? although my temper speaks better. she goes over to light her candle so he asks what that is about. she is lighting it for the sake of the person she loves. JY asks that guy on your phone? you were dating Choi so who is that guy? were you two timing? HS: jealous? JY: it was just a question.
they hear noise coming from the kitchen -something broke. HS asks what is this noise. JY: a guest came. SY (the girl) is going through their fridge and gets something to eat. JY goes over to SY and says aren’t you going to sleep quietly? HS: what is this girl? JY: she said she has no place to go. it’s just for tonight. also I will say this clearly but this home is mine. just let her sleep over one night and send her away. HS tells the girl to leave but SY says I have no place to go. also this home is that ajussi’s (JY’s).
HS goes over and asks if JY had spent up to now meeting that girl. JY: I have to work. I will ask this favor – leave. HS: I am asking you – until this time – did you meet up with that minor? JY says no i was meeting another kid. HS: you must have a lot of kids – this kid another kid. is that how you live your life? telling me through text that you felt fluttered cuz of me. JY: that was that moment – not this moment.
HS goes outside and talks to herself repeating what he just said ” that was that moment not this moment” you just make advances towards anyone. I’m the crazy one for feeling fluttered for a short time. she calls him a name just as he comes out. she asks what? what? JY sighs and says let me work. HS: work. did anyone say anything? she walks away so he calls out leave her alone. don’t make things noisy anymore. ya!
HS goes downstairs and yells at the girl -where do you think this place is to just lay down. JY yells just let me get some work done. HS points to him and tells SY – can’t you see that player/playboy wolf being. get up. don’t you know how many guys are in this house – how can you just lie down? SY: then where do I sleep? HS makes the girl sleep in her room with her so SY leaves happy. JY asks HS: you had this humane side to you? she calls him a player dog again so he says don’t call me that cuz even a playboy/player has principles. He lists them. you don’t even know so why talk? should I confirm it for you? should I direct all my attention to you? do you want to see? he admits that she gives him pressure cuz she is too pure. she mutters about this dirty world where being pure becomes an insult.
HS gives SY clothes to change into to wear after she washes and to sleep on the floor but the girl changes right there so HS calls her out on it for being brazen and undressing just anywhere and tells her to change in the bathroom
next morning JY is talking to the cafe manager HS’s sister. he says how one moment he just hated talk of dating -just seemed like they were kidding. she says how impressive he is cuz he even cooks well. she asks how HS is since he has lived with her. I don’t mean anything by it – I’m just curious how she is like from a man’s point of view. cuz she is alone when she is at the age for dating. JY says she has a lot of charm, but not enough to date. the manager suddenly gets snappish at him and asks how many cups of coffee did you say? he holds up 4 fingers.
HS comes out of the shower and the girl is sitting on the toilet doing her business so HS gets upset and calls her crazy.
the guys are in the lawn and HS drags out the girl but HS is only wearing a towel. Jo asks what’s wrong as JY gets an eye full of HS in her towel. SY explains how HS let her sleep in her room cuz she had no place to stay yesterday. HS tells her to shut up and leave. SY asks for breakfast so HS tells her not to come back to this place again and to leave. SY grins and goes. HS says you better not come back again. SY winks at SK before she leaves. Jo says let’s just feed her and then send her on her way. HS says do you want to die? she orders the guys never to let the girl back in. if you let even one foot of hers back in I will kill you all. Jo yells back I lived for too long – it’s time for me to die. HS: is what I said a joke? Jo: no. she realizes SK is checking her out in her towel and hits him asking what are you looking at. Jo hits him too and says did you look again – we are family. SK tries to say JY checked you out too but she says was that guy ever human? (meaning he is a dog)
Jo wonders why she treats JY like a dog. JY says I don’t know. He wonders if she does this often so that he can get her angry even more (to keep seeing some skin so Jo calls him sexy for thinking that way). Jo invites JY to some concert and to take JY’s car. JY agrees it doesn’t sound bad cuz he can get some air. who else is going? Jo says you dont like SK and HS much so let’s just the two of us go. JY says I know a kid and he coughs and his fingers are swollen so which department at the hospital should he go too? Jo tells him to go where HS is.
SK runs over to check and the girl is waiting at the bottom of the steps so he motions her to come back up.
JY pulls up to HS and offers her a ride. get in cuz I am going to your hospital cuz there is a kid I know who is sick. she leans in and asks is it a kid you know today when it was some kid yesterday? JY: the kid I met yesterday is the one who is sick. she tells him don’t speak to me anymore. JY: why? HS: just stop doing it. what did you say? she repeats what he said before “that was that moment – not this moment.” JY: what’s wrong with saying that. at that moment then I really did feel something for you. should I feel sorry for something? that I wasn’t able to continue having those feelings for you – should I feel sorry for that right now? her jaw just keeps dropping open in shock. JY: if that’s the case then sorry. she backs away from his car and says again – from here on don’t say one word to me. for the remaining time on the contract for the next two weeks, just stay quietly and leave. also if you see me on the street don’t ever act like you know me. JY: ok if that’s what you want. HS: not even one word. from this moment not even one word. He just drives off while she is still talking.
after JY leaves, HS encounters a guy who had an accident
JY mumbles about HS: I cant figure out that woman even after getting to know her. even if I had fluttering feelings for her she gets mad. when I don’t she gets mad. he pulls over to pick up KW.
JB is on the phone with Jo and says -I thought of how to prove my innocence. maybe I should get the amytal before my younger brother or my mom. that way I think you will believe me more. truthfully right now you are really suspicious of me right now. also I might get out on leave soon. please tell me your address. as soon as I get out I will go directly to you. JB takes down the address. Jo says see you then and hangs up.
Jo calls the guard and asks when JB ‘s case files will be sent.
HS takes the wounded guy in the ambulance to the hospital. she tells the ER doc the patient needs sedation cuz he is in an irritated state.
the doctors are talking about that patient. in the ambulance he had said I don’t like my arm. I cut it off on purpose. then he did it of his own volition. the docs think he might have a severe case of body dysmorphic disorder or schizophrenia -that he doesn’t believe his body is his own and hates it. I even saw someone who hated their face so they put out cigarettes on it but this is the first time seeing a person cut his own arm off. it seems like he is really not well off financially too plus he has a kid. HS tells the other doc to find more cases so they can study up.
the short doc wants to speak alone to doctor lee. he complains how his wife was annoyed with him suddenly. she had said “this is so annoying. is this all your capable of? in the past you were so cool. the man complains does that make sense? am I the same as in the past? I am old too. how can I perform when I did surgery till midnight. if a person is tired he might not be able to perform. she advises him to just break up with her then. he aks how she could say such things as a doctor. Lee says I am speaking to you as a friend and not a doctor. he says it’s cuz we have a kid. she says kids grow up well under divorced parents too. think about it carefully if you are painting your wife in a bad light cuz you don’t want to say help me out. not end up like me and DM and break up cuz we found it a nuisance to talk and was embarrassed. think about it.
HS and the docs are talking about the mom who lost her baby and keeps thinking she has the baby still.
JY and KW see HS at the hospital. KW teases JY about her. JY tells him to go ahead first and goes over to talk to her and says you don’t look well. what’s going on. he remembers how she told him not to speak to her and leaves saying sorry I forgot. she mutters how she hates the sight of him
she gets a call from Jo and says where are you. I can go now.
JY and KW are sitting and waiting to be called. JY asks why aren’t they calling your name? KW: they probably will soon. JY goes over to the desk and asks when Han KW will be seen. she is his radio fan and recognizes him. he thanks her and asks again that it’s been a while since KW has been waiting to be called for a consult but hasn’t been called. she doesnt see KW and checks her computer and tells him KW never signed up to be seen. JY asks what are you saying. I saw him sign up to be seen. he looks over and KW is gone. he wonders where he went to again. JY says sorry and leaves. he goes out and calls KW and thinks he was afraid of being treated and ran off.
JY pulls up and sees SK with Jo. JY asks what he is doing here. SK says to go to the concert. I am close with Yoon Chul hyung and HJ noona. JY asks Jo what’s going on cuz Jo had said only the two of them were going before. Jo is on the phone and telling someone not to quit. he hangs up so JY asks Jo – didnt you say only the two of us were going? Jo: I lie well. didn’t you know that? the two of us aren’t going – it’s the 4 of us going. HS shows up and Jo tells her to get in. she doesnt want to ride with JY so he says then you ride the bus. she fights with Jo and says I don’t want to – why should I get in that car so Jo says what is the problem – JY is the one who is going to have a hard time driving so you should be grateful so what is there to hate. you said cuz HJ is pregnant and cant take her meds, it’s hard for her to hang on so that is why we are going – didn’t you say that? I am busy and making time so what is the problem? HS yells back – did I say let’s ride JY’s car? SK says just ride it cuz it’s free. Jo says I am counting to 3. if you arent going then you go home. 1,2,3, SK let’s go. the 3 guys are in the car waiting and HS gets in. JY says why – why not just take the bus. Jo says to her – if you were going to just get in then why hold out. he says sorry to JY for showing him this tantrum. JY says you didn’t show me the tantrum. don’t worry about it.
in the car JY asks who is the concert singer today. Jo says the man on HS’s phone background she likes so much. SK: what does that matter when he is married. JY asks her – are you dating a married guy? HS: even a bachelor gives me a headache so would I date a married guy? don’t speak to me. Jo tells her you don’t talk. she explains how JY keeps talking to her. Jo asks when she politely replied when someone spoke to her. what a funny girl. SK explains to JY that Yoon Chul hyung was a singer in clubs and she met him as his fan and now they are close with him too. he really has charm. if he didn’t have a girl HS noona would have taken her place. he is totally sexy and totally a man. even though his girl had mental problems he still married her. to the extent that he was kicked out of his well to do family. HS starts to get mad so Jo says leave him be. he is talking about friends so why get angry? to us is HJ a patient? she is a friend. among friends we can talk about friends. also why hide that. when they talk about it openly in front of people. Jo directs his comments to JY and says this is what is ridiculous. when someone has cancer or it’s a patient with a leg amputated -those types of patients or disabled receive condolences or words of comfort/encouragement but mental patients people look at them very strangely like they are bugs you cant stare at. due to major stress taking 3 bottles of pills could happen but they act like that would never happen to them. so that is why HS is like that so understand. HS warns JY -don’t you dare look at my friends strangely – I wont leave you alone. JY: you are the weirdest in this world to me. Jo and SK laugh. JY says it’s impressive that they went as far as marriage. SK says they are having a baby even. JY: a baby? HS: why are you so shocked. as long as it’s not with a husband like you having a baby is no problem at all. Jo yells at her -you are the problem. we are talking with JY so why do you keep butting in? you are distracting our JY while he drives. she laughs cuz he keeps calling JY “our JY.” Jo continues and says yes our JY – kind JY. it’s just cuz he doesn’t speak much but how nice is the guy. he let’s a young girl sleep over. gave us a home. on a day like today he is driving us somewhere far away. she yells at him to stop. Jo just asks JY to pull over to the rest area so he can pee.
Jo and JY talk about how HJ could still take medication during her pregnancy. it’s safe but she is just feeling scared. if she takes the meds and after she gives birth what if something happens to the baby. JY asks if she doesn’t take medicine if her condition will regress. Jo says the chances are high for that. she knows that so she is afraid. cuz we know how she feels we are trying to reassure her. Jo gets a call and yells into the phone – why did you hang up a while ago. what? dont cry.
SK says I will call you hyung. JY asks him to just call him “you” (meaning just speak banmal) SK is asking for a favor to let SY work at the café. we need a worker anyway. I will call you hyung. JY points out SY is underage. SK: I wont date her. I will call you hyung – let SY work. if you want to feel more at ease – let me know how to date/get women. HS walks by and tells him to teach SK how to date women “since you are a player.” as she walks away JY says I was about to anyway. SK asks how to date women. tell me. JY: just throw them away. if you try to get them you will lose them. if you are prepared to lose then your chances of winning increases. SK doesnt get the advice so JY tells him just live the way you look. SK yells after him – I will call you hyung so teach me.
when they arrive at the concert site, Jo and SK run off cuz it began. JY gets out and points out he opened the door for her and didn’t pick a fight. He walks off.
HS waves to the guy singing Yoon Chul. the guy she met at JY’s radio station. JY asks who the wife of the guy is so HS tells him. (it’s the girl cheering for the singer) JY says she doesn’t look like a patient -she looks too normal. HS says if it wasn’t for how pretty HJ is – that guy (the singer) would be mine now. JY puts his arm around her.
after the concert her husband is standing over HJ. she seems to be having a hard time
Jo is on the phone saying I will go now so don’t quit your job. HS tells them to go first cuz she wants to stick around cuz she feels uneasy. Jo asks if HJ is not doing better even though HS spoke to her. HS says how HJ is not calming down and seems anxious. since she is here she is going to take HJ to the hospital tm cuz it will be open. she tells the others to go. SK and Jo have to leave. Jo has to stop someone from quitting. JY starts to say “I want to stay with you too” but she declines so he thanks her and gets in the car.
suddenly they hear yelling. the husband is yelling “you cant HJ”. the guys and HS see HJ going into the water to drown herself. the husband goes in after her. JY notes that the guy cant swim so he jumps in the save HJ. SK was about to help but his Tourette’s comes on so Jo makes him stay put. Jo goes in to get the husband.
JY is trying to save the girl while Jo drags the guy out of the water.
HS yells out to JY not to let water get in the girl’s stomach cuz she is pregnant. HS sort of drowns JY as he tries to keep her above water level. HS worries about JY as he goes under but he swings the girl over his shoulder and takes her out. HS runs over and does CPR on HJ. she starts to cough and breathes on her own. HS goes over to JY.
the three of them are lying on the ground. JY says should I have waited longer so you could have done mouth to mouth. HS: you should have. she touches his cut forehead. he tells her not to touch – it’s weird. she wonders if he feels something for her right now in this situation so he says be quiet. he yells triumphantly I saved a person.
at night HS is petting HJ’s hair as she sobs. HS tells her to cry more.
the husband says it’s all my fault – if only I didnt say let’s abort the baby while we were walking. JY says if my wife was having a hard time I would have said that too. Jo tells him to have strength – that’s how you can protect
JY asks SK – are you still sad? just let her work at the cafe like and say it like you made the position for her. SK fist bumps and says I will call you hyung. JY ruffles his hair and says I will teach you to swim later. Jo and SK leave with the ambulance.
HS goes over to JY and wants to put a band aid on him. he wants to know what HJ sees when she is going through her condition. HS explains how it’s different from each case – someone could see monsters-for someone else the roof is collapsing-for HJ her friends come over to insult her and treat her like an outcast.
They watch and talk about the couple inside. HS: at first I was against their marriage and told him to just see her as friends but he suddenly stopped contact with me. JY: but after getting married and having a baby – is that why he came to you? why didn’t you tell him not to have a baby cuz you are a doctor? HS: cuz in this situation it’s hard to deal with just love alone. to be honest even now I dont believe they will last forever but I want to cheer for them. if they really do live well then there is hope that I could believe in love. so for their sake I light that candle in the house. Please help them – whoever. can love really save them? JY says yes. She asks if he believes love conquers all – that if you have courage to love -it will give happiness, joy, fluttering feelings. JY: it will probably also give anguish, resentment, pain, sadness, despair, and misfortune/misery but the strength to overcome/conquer those things -it will give double. it has to be that much to be love. she wonders who he learned that from. he says I learned from love – I love one woman like crazy. her name is mom. he notes the couple is kissing and says I want to love too. she gives him a look so he says don’t look at me strangely. do you know how much you learn about life from loving another? HS says I dont want to know. he cites reasons -first you feel good. second you learn patience. HS: probably just until the woman crosses over/falls for you. JY: third -consideration. for women and men to feel…never mind. he stops talking so she says continue cuz I’m a doctor and will listen to it coolly. she gets up calling him a dog player again. he says there are levels of dog players too and cites them. they are different from that two timing Choi. HS: so you are saying you don’t? JY: listen up well. I might not look it, but I’m respectful of others. if a woman says dont do it then I never do. she laughs. he thinks she is mocking him. JY: if you havent dated me dont talk – if you date me you will really be surprised. he walks off and she asks where are you going? JY: to go sleep. it’s not like you are going to sleep with me. HS: are you going to sleep in the car? She wonders how he could claim to be when he kissed her on his own/unilaterally. she tells the couple to stop kissing cuz she is going in
next morning HS says bye to the couple. she asks how HJ feels. HJ says I will beat this for sure. HJ tells her not to take medication for two weeks cuz of the baby. HJ thanks her. the guy says after we have our baby you babysit for us. she says of course and tells them to go. he wonders where her boyfriend went so HS says don’t worry about him- he is probably sleeping in the car. they tell her to date JY and HJ says the guy is ok. HJ says no and tells them to go. they leave and she calls out I will call. then she calls out for JY.
Jo is seeing his patient and gets the paperwork he asked for about JB. he sees the name on the case file. he does some research and realizes JB and JY are brothers.
JY is dreaming. the night of the incident he falls back after the dad got stabbed. he watches as JB is pulling the knife out. present day JY cries as he dreams
HS checks the car and roams around and keeps calling out for JY. she goes near the bathroom and sees his sneakers beneath the gap in the door and asks are you doing your business? she knocks and asks what are you doing? she opens the bathroom door and sees him sleeping near the corner of the toilet. he is having his nightmare. she remembers the video of him going into the bathroom and the auto voice saying the door is locked. he opens his eyes and sees her. she says come out and let’s go.
in the car JY asks why arent you asking? you must have been startled after seeing me sleep in the bathroom. HS: I guess the women you met before were greatly shocked huh? JY: of course. one woman said she understood me and texted about me behind my back on SNS and the other woman stopping contact me from the next day. HS points out someone she knows even sleeps in a dog’s house. JY says there is a good place he knows about around here and asks if she wants to take a walk.
JY shares when it started (sleeping in bathrooms). when he was 15. she tells him he doesn’t need to talk about it but he continues. he talks about his life back then living with his stepdad and his brother. the step dad beat JY cuz he didn’t like him and his brother said JY was a fool for being hit by the stepdad. my stepdad gambled and wanted money but I couldn’t give him the money for school so I ran like my life depended on it. but there was no place to run to in the countryside. so I saw the public bathroom under the mountain. what do you think I did then? HS shakes her head to say I don’t know. Young JY jumped into the toilet in the ground. JY laughs and says I’m really funny huh? to jump into that dirty place. starting from then I felt like the bathroom was the safest place. after that I never slept in my bedroom. the bed in my room is for deception. it’s what doctors like you call trauma. He walked ahead so she calls out let’s go together.
They get to the pool of water and remark how nice it is. then he asks is my condition a major one. she says mine is bigger cuz I’m a grown woman and cant sleep with men. they laugh about it. she asks I give treatment well huh? your thoughts get aired out. if you laugh your thoughts get lighter. didn’t I live a really useful life? JY: a little. she says if it’s really uncomfortable for you I will give you medication. meds work well. but he just wants to live the way he has been. I do have nightmares but it’s not like I cant sleep at all. he talks about what his previous doctor said about taking meds and how it could affect his writing. She agrees and says just to live cuz 80% is just neurosis and most people live with simple stress, but aside from writing if it gets worse and he cant sleep comfortably then take medication and get therapy. he asks if she is just going to look at the big lagoon and leave. she doesnt like the water and just likes how it is right now in this moment. JY: just try it. just like how I just told you my secret today. just do it and you will feel lighter. she says just doing it doesn’t work for me well and walks away but he starts to drag her ad then picks her up and throws her in. she keeps saying you cant – are you crazy – no- I don’t want to, but once she gets in she says how refreshing the water is. just doing it works. just doing it is just doing it. he keeps splashing her so she says the water is getting in her ears. he watches her laughing and enjoying her moment. then he gets close and kisses her. he pulls away for a second and before she can say anything he kisses her again. this time she reaches up to touch his face. unlike their last “light” kiss, she is receptive this time.
HS says to JY: I dont like you – you keep making advances to anyone.
JY: it wasn’t making advances. it’s cuz I like you that I kissed.
HS tells the others that she wont get involved with JY
She watches as JY lights that love candle for her.
JY says to her: date me. knock on my door three times or the phone bell three times.
HS: If only you weren’t a dog player – it’s not that I don’t have any feelings for you at all.
JY: if you date me you will really be shocked by my charm.
JY got banged up with cuts. she touches his scar on his shoulder and JY says I was very honest/sincere a lot at the pond.
she asks him -did you hear the phone ring three times?
My reaction to the episode:
This drama is visually stunning with its choice of vibrant colors, but sometimes I wish the camera would back away just a tad cuz there is no need for me to be able to count their pores. It’s sort of distracting for me to hear the dialogue when I have to see their complexion so clearly. That aside, I love the pace of this drama so much. Just enough to keep us on the edge but not enough to know everything all at once. I want their answers to come in stages, just like their love has a gradual process to it. I am grateful she hasn’t yet discovered the giant pink elephant in the room cuz even JY hasn’t figured out that KW isn’t real to others yet. I want him to know first and seek treatment from HS.
My favorite scene other than the kiss was the look on her face when she saw him in the bathroom. Maybe it’s cuz she has seen far worse in her career treating all those mental patients, but when HS discovered him sleeping in that tiny room- there was one look he never saw before in any of the women who found out about him. There was no judgment and just clinical indifference. I bet that made him want to open up more to her. With her casual reaction, he felt comfortable enough to confide. I’m hoping his growing feelings for her was the other factor.
From the moment he found about her condition, he knew she couldn’t be treated like all other women. He knew she was sensitive about skinship and intimacy, but he wanted to push her limits – for her to realize there really doesn’t need to be any. I think that is why he is leaving himself so bare and vulnerable – he knows like a frightened animal, she needs to see for herself there is nothing to fear so she will get closer. I bet that’s why he opened up so much to her. He shares so much of himself hoping she will do the same one day and trust him. He is going to earn her trust first then have the privilege of being the man who helps her let go of her issues. Not just through words, but through actions, he will eventually live up to what she has been waiting her whole life for – someone who will shatter any disillusions or doubt she might have had about love. By giving into that kiss and enjoying it for what it was in that moment, she is already on her way and one step closer to conquering her issue.